Hi everyone- I know that I have fallen way way WAY behind on posting but I haven’t really forgotten about it. I just have kind of a backlog of entries that I never posted for whatever reason. I also have a list of things that I have not yet written about which I will hopefully have time to write up this week sometime. In the meantime, here are some of them below:
Aug 13th- Court Day- I remember a year ago Baheet saying “Today is a day that will change your life forever- it is the day that you are parents.” But it didn’t really feel that way at the time, I was still afraid someone would come along and take Rinat away. It was not until we got on the plane to Germany that the anxiety was finally completely over and I felt like I could finally let down my guard and give my whole self to our little boy. But as I went back and read the post that I did back then that detailed our court date and how it felt and what we were thinking, I guess it did feel at least a little bit like an important day in our lives. And she was right- it has most definitely changed our life. I can not even count the number of things that our sweet boy has taught us. He taught us how important it is to have patience, that there is no limit to how much you can love someone- it just keeps growing every single day, he gave us the knowledge that our lives are meant for something good (him), and that our purpose is to give one more person to the world who has an open mind, open heart, is joyful, and responsible. I can’t wait to see him grow up and see the man that he will become. He has also shown us we have an amazing family that will continue to grow and change and we only increase our strength when we face challenges together and we become all the better for it.
Aug 16 to 23- We drove down to SC to go to the beach (Rin’s first time!) with Peter’s Dad’s family this week and it was tons of fun. It ended up being a 10 hour drive down (with a short stopover at Auntie Ann’s house) and Rinat did absolutely wonderfully. He did not cry for one single second the whole ride and he spent literally
hours playing with a golf club and ball. Unbelievable, right? As a matter of fact, every time we got out of the car to change his diaper or make a bathroom stop, he would just say “Go Car! Beach!” I guess he knew that we couldn’t’ get to the beach until we got back in the car and drove there. Rinat had an absolute blast when we were there. The first time we headed down to check out the beach, he had no fear as usual. I should have known. He just walked right out into the waves and laughed his head off at the water rushing between his feet. When he got knocked down he wasn’t scared at all, he just kept right on jumping in. And he, of course, enjoyed lots of quality family time- especially with Granddaddy. Big Pete took him for at least a couple hours a day and played with him down on the beach so I got a vacation as well (and poor Peter had to head up to PA for a meeting for almost the whole trip). We also got to see Walt/Nan/Sam/Sara and as usual Rinat had a blast with them. He always learns something from them and this time it was how to jump off the side of the pool. All in all, it was a great trip. I did, however, get some bad news mid-trip in the form of an email from the agency we were using to adopt our next child and it made me really sad for the last few weeks. Basically it led me to believe that Kazakhstan is not where we will find our next child. So I took some time to mourn the fact that we have to leave Kaz behind and rethink things and I think we are now ready to get started again. A new agency and a new country, but we are on our way. I think so anyway. Of course it’s never a done deal until we bring the baby home so we’re just hoping we are doing the right thing and working on making sure. I am watching the Yahoo groups and blogs like a hawk and it looks like I will most likely be doing it for several years as we work on the next member of our family. But we’ll get there eventually.
Aug 29th- The Day He Became Ours- I was watching Run’s House on MTV recently (yes, of the rap group Run DMC) and just happened upon the episode when they brought their adopted daughter home to join their family and it was so similar to the day that we brought Rin home to our apartment. I remember being so terrified but so unbelievably happy at the same time. It was just so overwhelming but I wanted to soak up every second and not forget anything at all. It was a good natured competition between Peter and me as to who got to give him his first bath, first feeding, first reading books before bed, first getting up in the middle of the night, who slept next to him the first night, who could make him laugh the most or who he would crawl to first. And now, a year later, not all that much has changed. It is not longer a competition but I have yet to get sick of it. Instead of giving him a bath, I love to have him play on the floor of the shower while I wash my hair; instead of feeding him, we eat all of our meals at the table where we really do hold something like a conversation; instead of reading to him before he goes to bed, he hands me a book and just climbs right into my lap when he wants me to read to him; rather than sleeping next to him I am still 100% awake and out of bed the second I hear his cry in the night; and we still try to get him to giggle nonstop and he rather than crawling to us, he now runs. So different yet still the same. The only thing that has changed is that Peter and I love him even more than we did then. I never thought that would be possible but I constantly find myself just watching him concentrate so hard as he pretends to measure something with the measuring tape, mirrors the mommy face that I sometimes make as he shares his snack with Blue Bunny, says ‘mama do it’ when I ask him to put something away, and I find myself just unable to take my eyes off him, staring at him- literally fawning like a teenage girl over a boy she has a crush on. It sounds bizarre and slightly weird but it’s true. I’m obsessed. I have trouble completing an email, reading a magazine article, or having a conversation that is not interrupted by me watching him, amazed at the person he is turning into. So to commemorate bringing him home to our apartment in Astana one year ago today, I declared today to be Rinat Day. I did not do anything that was not Rin-related. I didn’t answer the phone, check emails, do laundry, cook, run errands, or any of those other things that keep my from focusing on my sweet boy. It was a good day. But then again, any day that involves donuts for breakfast and cupcakes for both lunch and dinner is always good J Yup, I let Rin make all of the decisions today. We started with a trip to Starbucks to get our sugar (and my caffeine) fix, then watched the Wawa movie (aka Ice Age: The Meltdown). Then he told me “Go car” so we got in the car and I asked him where he wanted to go he said “Cupcakes” so we drove to the grocery store to get some. I’m not sure where the idea came from but I was happy to go along with it. Then we played, ate, read, did puzzles and just generally just enjoyed hanging out all day long. As I said, it was a good day. I hope yours was good too. –m
I’ll post more fun Rinat stuff soon so check back.
Hi- I am not sure where it came from, but our little ‘NatNat’ (as he calls himself) is absolutely, 100% boy. He loves all things sports (OK, Peter has influenced him a little in that department). He has little plastic golf clubs and balls that he plays with 24-7. They are the first thing he goes for in the morning and the last thing he puts down at night- in the house, in the yard, and in the car. He also has a football that he loves and he carries it tucked into his arm as he dashes across the living room saying “Runnin’! Runnin’!” We even took him to a UVA football game which I think he enjoyed but didn’t really understand that we had to stay in one seat for 4 hours and couldn’t just crawl around wherever we wanted. To be honest, I think 4 hours in one seat is too long also. But it was still fun (well, maybe not so much for the people in front and behind us). And when football is on TV he watches intently until someone gets tackled and says “Uh-Oh! Uh-Oh, Mama! Boo-boo.” He cracks me up. But the one that took the cake the other day was when we went to the grocery store right next to a school where they were having soccer practice. He insisted that we walk over and watch them for a minute and he kept saying “Football, football!” and pointing to the field. When I corrected him and told him it was soccer and they kick the ball instead of running with the ball, he paused for a second and I could see his little face scrunch up in concentration, and he said “NatNat? Soccer? Kick it? Please?” He is sooooo cute. Have I mentioned how wonderful the internet is? Not only am I able to broadcast all of the adorable things that my little boy does, but I have also found it incredibly useful in trying to figure out what in the world to do about finding a sister for Rin. I joined several Yahoo groups to do some research and have, in the process, found a couple who we met in Almaty the day before they were off to meet their little one. I remembered them well because I felt so much sympathy for them since we had been in their shoes only 6 week before- terrified of the unknown- just like they were. It’s strange how you can run across someone anywhere now. The Yahoo group has also been really great for my sanity and I feel like I have finally found a group of people who can truly understand how exciting getting past each small step in the adoption process is and can offer guidance and support when I need it. It’s a lifesaver. And I have also, through Facebook, found some of my friends that I had when I was growing up and it has got me wondering who Rinat’s lifelong friends will be. One of the friends that I found was my best friend from the time I can remember until almost college and it has been really great to find out what she is up to and share some of the funny things that we did as kids. And I have found myself wondering who Rinat’s lifelong friends will be. Will they be the kids that we play with now? Someone he meets in school? Who knows, but I hope that he also finds someone who knows him through and through and can share all of those crazy childhood things like sliding down the stairs in sleeping bags, cooking s’mores over a campfire, spending hours and hours having Big Wheel races in the alley, running around the neighborhood like hooligans, going on vacations together, and having someone who feels like family- someone that truly understands what he’s about. I don’t wish for him a big house or fancy cars, I can only hope that he finds good friends to help him through the things that I can’t. And while we are on the subject of family, here’s a quick update on a sister. After researching every country that allows adoption, we are back to Kazakhstan. Yes, we are insane. We had considered Kyrgyzstan and Taiwan as alternates but my heart is in Kaz. I may come to regret it, but there we are. I waffled back and forth (and back and forth and back and forth). I have actually had our contract for two months and had not sent it in because I didn’t know what to do. I even put away all of the paperwork and took a break from it. But I decided to just rip off the bandaid and send in our contract so we hope to be moving forward with our dossier soon. I will, of course, keep you all in the loop. Cross your fingers for us because I think this time around is going to be a bit bumpier. But we have finally taken the next step. I hope that you too can soon rip off the bandaid of something you have been putting off. It’s really liberating! I feel a lot better about finally making a decision- whether it turns out to be the right one or not. Good luck! -m
