Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Court, Beach, The Day He Became Ours

Hi everyone- I know that I have fallen way way WAY behind on posting but I haven’t really forgotten about it. I just have kind of a backlog of entries that I never posted for whatever reason. I also have a list of things that I have not yet written about which I will hopefully have time to write up this week sometime. In the meantime, here are some of them below:
Aug 13th- Court Day- I remember a year ago Baheet saying “Today is a day that will change your life forever- it is the day that you are parents.” But it didn’t really feel that way at the time, I was still afraid someone would come along and take Rinat away. It was not until we got on the plane to Germany that the anxiety was finally completely over and I felt like I could finally let down my guard and give my whole self to our little boy. But as I went back and read the post that I did back then that detailed our court date and how it felt and what we were thinking, I guess it did feel at least a little bit like an important day in our lives. And she was right- it has most definitely changed our life. I can not even count the number of things that our sweet boy has taught us. He taught us how important it is to have patience, that there is no limit to how much you can love someone- it just keeps growing every single day, he gave us the knowledge that our lives are meant for something good (him), and that our purpose is to give one more person to the world who has an open mind, open heart, is joyful, and responsible. I can’t wait to see him grow up and see the man that he will become. He has also shown us we have an amazing family that will continue to grow and change and we only increase our strength when we face challenges together and we become all the better for it.
Aug 16 to 23- We drove down to SC to go to the beach (Rin’s first time!) with Peter’s Dad’s family this week and it was tons of fun. It ended up being a 10 hour drive down (with a short stopover at Auntie Ann’s house) and Rinat did absolutely wonderfully. He did not cry for one single second the whole ride and he spent literally hours playing with a golf club and ball. Unbelievable, right? As a matter of fact, every time we got out of the car to change his diaper or make a bathroom stop, he would just say “Go Car! Beach!” I guess he knew that we couldn’t’ get to the beach until we got back in the car and drove there. Rinat had an absolute blast when we were there. The first time we headed down to check out the beach, he had no fear as usual. I should have known. He just walked right out into the waves and laughed his head off at the water rushing between his feet. When he got knocked down he wasn’t scared at all, he just kept right on jumping in. And he, of course, enjoyed lots of quality family time- especially with Granddaddy. Big Pete took him for at least a couple hours a day and played with him down on the beach so I got a vacation as well (and poor Peter had to head up to PA for a meeting for almost the whole trip). We also got to see Walt/Nan/Sam/Sara and as usual Rinat had a blast with them. He always learns something from them and this time it was how to jump off the side of the pool. All in all, it was a great trip. I did, however, get some bad news mid-trip in the form of an email from the agency we were using to adopt our next child and it made me really sad for the last few weeks. Basically it led me to believe that Kazakhstan is not where we will find our next child. So I took some time to mourn the fact that we have to leave Kaz behind and rethink things and I think we are now ready to get started again. A new agency and a new country, but we are on our way. I think so anyway. Of course it’s never a done deal until we bring the baby home so we’re just hoping we are doing the right thing and working on making sure. I am watching the Yahoo groups and blogs like a hawk and it looks like I will most likely be doing it for several years as we work on the next member of our family. But we’ll get there eventually.
Aug 29th- The Day He Became Ours- I was watching Run’s House on MTV recently (yes, of the rap group Run DMC) and just happened upon the episode when they brought their adopted daughter home to join their family and it was so similar to the day that we brought Rin home to our apartment. I remember being so terrified but so unbelievably happy at the same time. It was just so overwhelming but I wanted to soak up every second and not forget anything at all. It was a good natured competition between Peter and me as to who got to give him his first bath, first feeding, first reading books before bed, first getting up in the middle of the night, who slept next to him the first night, who could make him laugh the most or who he would crawl to first. And now, a year later, not all that much has changed. It is not longer a competition but I have yet to get sick of it. Instead of giving him a bath, I love to have him play on the floor of the shower while I wash my hair; instead of feeding him, we eat all of our meals at the table where we really do hold something like a conversation; instead of reading to him before he goes to bed, he hands me a book and just climbs right into my lap when he wants me to read to him; rather than sleeping next to him I am still 100% awake and out of bed the second I hear his cry in the night; and we still try to get him to giggle nonstop and he rather than crawling to us, he now runs. So different yet still the same. The only thing that has changed is that Peter and I love him even more than we did then. I never thought that would be possible but I constantly find myself just watching him concentrate so hard as he pretends to measure something with the measuring tape, mirrors the mommy face that I sometimes make as he shares his snack with Blue Bunny, says ‘mama do it’ when I ask him to put something away, and I find myself just unable to take my eyes off him, staring at him- literally fawning like a teenage girl over a boy she has a crush on. It sounds bizarre and slightly weird but it’s true. I’m obsessed. I have trouble completing an email, reading a magazine article, or having a conversation that is not interrupted by me watching him, amazed at the person he is turning into. So to commemorate bringing him home to our apartment in Astana one year ago today, I declared today to be Rinat Day. I did not do anything that was not Rin-related. I didn’t answer the phone, check emails, do laundry, cook, run errands, or any of those other things that keep my from focusing on my sweet boy. It was a good day. But then again, any day that involves donuts for breakfast and cupcakes for both lunch and dinner is always good J Yup, I let Rin make all of the decisions today. We started with a trip to Starbucks to get our sugar (and my caffeine) fix, then watched the Wawa movie (aka Ice Age: The Meltdown). Then he told me “Go car” so we got in the car and I asked him where he wanted to go he said “Cupcakes” so we drove to the grocery store to get some. I’m not sure where the idea came from but I was happy to go along with it. Then we played, ate, read, did puzzles and just generally just enjoyed hanging out all day long. As I said, it was a good day. I hope yours was good too. –m
I’ll post more fun Rinat stuff soon so check back.

3 comments:

Jaimie, Gena and Berik said...

He is so cute!! We are sad about Commonwealth and feel like we are losing our bond too, however, we are trying to keep up with Baheet through her niece that goes to Kansas state. We are working on an address for her through a friend in Kostani now, through their translator who is doing I guess the last CAI adoption. I can hook you up with her if I get mine connection through. We adopted before you'll I think, in Nov of 2006. Our blog is www.berikjames.blogspot.com I or our email is jaimiegena@yahoo.com Have you tried Kaz through World Partners? They are a good agency and one of the people we adopted along with are going back to Astana again through them. Gena Lloyd

Karen, Glenn, Allie, Max, and Sam said...

Hi Maren,

Just checking in, and letting you know that we still follow your beautiful story. Yours was one of the first blogs that we locked into during the fist stages of our journey. We also now have a 20-month-old son, Max. (We have been home from Kaz for two months). We, too, have already started to look into adopting a second time, and have been carefully following the stories and changes -- changes that have happened even since we've been home a few short months.

We hope you will keep us posted, as we, too, will be investigating multiple options in order to expand our family.

In the meantime, thank you so much for the updates.

Karen, Glenn, and Max
http://ourkazakson.blogspot.com

Susan said...

what a wonderful post!! I think the Rin day sounds wonderful...cupcakes for lunch and dinner.

We are in Kosanai right now, 5 weeks yesterday, and celebreated our daughter's first bithday.
Court is in 11 days.
It's awesome and i cannot wait to have Leeza day!

I am sorry to hear that you changed from Kaz..but i sure understand.
2 days after we got to Kostanai, commonealth closed their doors. thank Goodness the team here is so incredible!
my hubby went home after precourt and is coming back for court, but he met Baheet in Astana and thought she was fabulous as well.

Congrats to you guys and i have always LOVED your blog...always so positive and full of love. :)
you rock!