Sidebar about the Counter

Hi All!
Nope, I'm not telling you a thing about our adoption- not quite yet.  But it's coming. 

I just wanted to address that little counter at the bottom of our blog.  Go on, take a look at it.  It's at 25,000.  Our blog has been looked at twenty-five thousand times.  Oh.  My.  Gosh.  I stuck the counter on there last August just because I was curious if anyone actually read it besides our family.  Looks like they do.  Who are you people?  Seriously, please leave me a comment.  PLEASE.  And if you have a blog yourself, leave a link and I will read it I swear.  I'm curious.  I also love taking a peek into the lives of people I don't know.  It's like eavesdropping on a conversation in the Metro- which is my other favorite pastime.  And besides, people are inspiring.  Take a look at this one http://www.kellehampton.com/ She is amazing.  I love that she finds beauty in things that most people don't even notice.  And she takes photos of her life and kids that make me want to dust off the camera and quit being lazy about hauling it around.  Or this one. http://www.sweetnicks.com/  Her food photos make me want to go to the kitchen and cook until it's a disaster zone in there.  Fun, huh?  And I have lots more.  And that doesn't even include all of my adoption friends and their wonderful stories.  The internet is just incredible.
 
The reason I started this little blog was to keep people updated on what was happening while we were in KStan for our first adoption.  I didn't want to send emails to all of my family (which is a whoooole lot of people) but I didn't want anyone to worry while we were gone either so I started a blog.  And then my mother in law (Hi Gigi!) send it to the entire population of the city where she lives and I realized that people who knew me but didn't really KNOW me would be reading about our exciting but also terrifying and uncertain trip- people outside of just my family and the adoption community and it sort of made me want to hold back.  I was originally planning on using the blog to just keep people informed and then keep a written journal for Rinat while we were there- a record of falling in love with him.  I'm sure that a time will come when he is unsure of himself and trying to figure out who he is and where he belongs in the world and I wanted him to know how excited we were to get to know him and everything that we learned about his home.  I was reluctant to put it all out there for the world to see.  But then I decided to just... jump in.  And I am so glad that I did.  I am not the most outgoing person in the world.  When I was young, I barely spoke out loud.  Other people scared me.  I was that girl in class who, when told to read aloud for the class, could barely be heard because it wasn't above a whisper (and, for the record, when I was teaching I never, ever made a single student do that). And book reports and poetry recitations? Absolute torture. I made myself sick worrying about it.  I just wanted to disappear the second anyone looked my direction.  But adopting Rinat has changed my world.  It has changed me.  Yes, there are many other things that have also contributed- my great friends in college, my patient and loving husband who has been my encouragement for 17 years now, being in this city that I love with amazing and supportive friends- but the last few years with him have affected me more than anything.  I want to be seen for once and I want people to know that we're here, and that we are a happy family full of a huge amount of love.  We know what's important in life and we make it a priority.  I don't know if that would be the case if parenthood had come easily.  But there it is.  This is our life and it is AMAZING.  It is full of twists and turns and good times and difficult ones but overriding it all is us.  Our little family unit.  And I want all 25,000 (and counting) readers to know it.  So keep reading!  And then when I am old and grey and no one can understand what I am saying because my dentures keep falling out (and Carson hides them because it's funny), we'll still have this record of our lives.  A record of all the love we had to give.  So thank you so much for supporting us and being happy for us and sending good thoughts our way when they were badly needed.  We appreciate every single one of them.

I hope everyone has a wonderful and candy-filled Halloween.  Check back soon for big stuff in our life!  Love to all,  -m 
And did you look at the weather over there to the right?  SNOW next week in Karaganda.  Rinat will be so excited!

Sorry to Keep You in Suspense

Hello everyone-
I am so sorry to keep you all in such suspense.  But it's going to have to go on for quite a bit longer.  Sorry.  If you have adopted from Kaz, you know how it goes "Don't tell anyone anything" is what you hear at every turn.  Don't talk to other adoptive parents.  Don't talk in front of other translators.  Basically, don't speak about the one thing you are there for.  And I hate to say it but we are going to have to follow their rules.  Let me just say that you should not worry, we are fine and we have a plan.  I won't be putting any details up on the blog for a good long while please do check back if you want to see how it all ends up.  So, again, sorry to just leave you hanging but it won't go on forever.  I'll be back soon.
Love to all, -m
And if you know me in real life send me an email and I can give you the lowdown!  Good stuff!

Finally We Go

Hey all-
This whole trip is just sit around and wait...now go go go!  After waiting and waiting and waiting some more.  All day long.  AGAIN.  We called Oxana in the afternoon to try and figure out what the deal is.  She hears back from Natasha that she is still waiting for the paper but she'll come over after 6 when they are closed for business to talk to us.  So we decide that we have a few hours to finally get out of the house since we know nothing is going to happen today anyway.  We take Rinat outside to enjoy the beautiful 65 degree day and he digs in the sandbox and goes down the slide while we talk about exactly how long we can just sit here and wait before we have to give up and go home.  We pick leaves to do rubbings with and then meander back upstairs when Rin feels that he is sufficiently covered in the world famous (not really but it should be) Karaganda dust.  We walk in and the phone is ringing (It's ringing!  It's ringing!) and it is Oxana who is so desperate to find us that she says she found Peter on Facebook and sent him a message.  She says to get ready and Sasha will pick us up in 10 minutes to go to the baby house.  Halle-friggin-luia!  So we throw on clean clothes, drive over, and run run run down the halls of the baby house to the director's office and meet a variety of people (nothing involves just one person here- there were 8 of us in there) and then they usher in a baby.  I am not going to give details for probably a few days but lets just say that there is finally a possibility.  The fist around my heart has losened its grip and I can finally breathe again.  Aaahhhh.
Love to all and more details when we can,  -m 
And, fyi, my aol email hasn't been working well today so sorry if you sent something and I don't respond.  Hopefully it'll be back tomorrow.

Still Nothing- Oct 12

Hi all-
I wouldn’t exactly put yesterday (Tuesday) at the top of my list of best days. It was pretty crappy actually. We still didn’t get to the baby house because that piece of paper from the social workers still has not been gotten for some reason. But we, of course, didn’t know that since no one called to tell us so we spent the entire day sitting in the apartment waiting for the phone to ring. Literally all day. We sat there and every once in a while picked up the phone to make sure it still had a dial tone. There’s no voice mail, no call forwarding, nothing. Just a phone, plugged into a wall that 9 times out of ten has someone saying something undecieferable when we answer and we have to say “Ya nye gavaru pah ruski” (I don’t speak any Russian).

To make the day even more awful, we were sick. All of us. I spent several hours wearing almost every article of clothing that I brought and laying under the blanket shivering with tissues stuck up my nose. Peter spent a lot of time sleeping. And our wonderful boy Rinat entertained himself for literally hours while we laid on the sofa. Thank god for the IPad. And he spent at least an hour unraveling the entire roll of toilet paper and being a paleontologist wrapping up dinosaur bones to bring to me. And another hour packing a suitcase to go stay at his friend Ryan’s house for a sleepover. I love that boy.

So we finally got in touch with Oxana that evening and she called Natasha to find out what’s going on. All we know is that the paper is not done or they are not giving it to her and she called Almaty to try and get it figured out. I am so tired of this. I know that things work differently here and time has a different meaning but we never had issues like this with Rinat. We came, we met him literally 12 hours later, we did our bonding/court/paperwork, and we went HOME. We have now been in Karaganda for a week and what do we have to show for it? Nothing. Nothing except dust up our nose, bellies full of meat pastries, and sickness. We have asked to meet with Natasha today and hopefully she will have some news, good or bad, about what is going on.

‘Til later, -m
Oh, and just a continuation of yesterday's 'poor me'- our water went from a trickle to nothing, literally nothing.   We couldn't wash our hands, our dishes, our clothes, nothing.  But it did turn back on at about 6 last night so I did actually get a hot/cold/3rddegreeburnhot/icycold/andfinallywarm shower eventually.

Still Waiting- Oct 12

Hi All!
Still no baby house.  Just thought I'd start with that since I know it's what you are all obsessively checking the blog for, family and friends. 

I hate to say it, but we've had a return visit from Mr. Doom and Mrs. Gloom.  It is partly because of the fact that we left home a week ago and have yet to meet a child that could possibly join our family.  But it is in great part due to the fact that all three of us are sick.  So annoying.  Rinat started with the sneezing on Saturday, Peter slelpt literally all day Sunday, and my throat somehow became ridiculously painful during quiet time on Monday.  So I will be brief in my description of our minimal activities yesterday and will let the photos do the talking for me.  Yesterday, we hung around all morning hoping that they would call and tell us to put on our coats and meet them downstairs to hop in the car and see babies (our coordinator had to meet with the baby house directors and then was going to hopefully get us there asap).  When it didn't happen by 11:00, we headed out to explore some of the city (photos below, descriptions to come) and get some lunch.  Then back home for Quiet Time and more waiting by the phone with no luck.  Another trip to the store, bath, and bed.  That's it.  Nothing exciting.  We broke down and called Oxana at 8:30 last night and she told us that Natasha has to meet with the social workers and get a piece of paper, or give them a piece of paper, or something else having to do with paper and we won't go until this afternoon (hopefully).  So we wait.  And wait.  And wait some more.  Sigh.

 And, just because I can, I am going to allow myself one 'poor me' a week.  Can you belive the water situation?  Is it sufficiently clear from the photo that the water is merely dripping out of the faucet?  And you can't see it but it is sometimes blazing hot and then turns to icy cold then back again.  And what's the one thing you want when you don't feel good?  A hot steamy shower?  Yeah, me too. But I ain't gettin' it.  Poor me.

Hopefully our vistors, Doom and Gloom, will make their exit soon and I will have some good news for the next post.  Go take a steamy shower for me just because you can!  -m

Hello, Where Are You From?- Oct 10

Hi all!
Sunday was another free day. Free of schedule is a good thing at home but here, where we have no idea about anything really, it can get a little overwhelming to have the whole day with nothing to do and no idea of how to entertain Rinat. We wander with no destination in mind which is fun for grownups, not so fun for Rinat-chik. We headed out in the morning with the intention of walking through the park but we instead ended up in Fantasy Land. In the summertime it’s an outdoor carnival sort of place with a ferris wheel, go carts, a carousel, and other twirly rides. I can close my eyes and imagine it full of people- boys and girls meeting up to flirt, families sharing a giant ball of fluffy cotton candy. But now, when it’s cold, it was deserted and a little bit sad. Like a lot of the things here, it is old. The canvas covers over the ferris wheel cars are ripped, the seats of the spinning cone are rusted, the paint has worn off of the tires at the side of the racetrack. But did that bother our little malchik? Nope, not a bit. There was a giant rusted structure that he named the Monster House which he played in for a while. We climbed to the top of the tower above the racetrack and he announced who was winning between Peter and me. We had leaf fights, Rin gathered piles that he then threw in the air yelling “Faaaaaalllll!” and he made leaf angels. He wandered around looking at all of the animals on the carousel and tried out the ferris wheel chairs. We were there for two hours. Who needs shiny new and fancy? Not us!

Then it was about time for lunch so we headed, yes, across the street to the mall. On the way, there was a sweet boy who ran up and stopped us by saying “Hello! How do you do? Where are you from? My English teacher is over there.” We let him and his friends come and practice their English on us for a little while (they were very good) and take a photo before saying goodbye. I am hoping we run into them again.

Then after perusing the Lego collection in one of the stores (for so long that the sales ladies gave us the catalog) we headed to Assorti where there was some pizza that, although no 2 Amy’s, was pretty darn good so Peter and Rin put some away. And I had some awesome awesome Stroganoff. Warm, creamy, full of yummy mushrooms and onions it completely hit the spot. My eating binge continues. I ate the entire thing and would have licked the plate if it were not a respectable eating establishment. A quick stop at the Jungle Park for a very good boy and then it was home for ‘quiet time’. I have had it with Rinat waking up at all hours and I know I am being an evil mother by nixing naptime but it appears to have worked because he only woke up once last night for about 10 minutes and then slept until 5:30. It’s a Kazakh record. Of course, poor Rin has developed a cold (imagine that) and I was really hoping some good quality sleep would knock it out. I have been trying to give him hot baths too but since this is Kaz, we were without any water at all last night to he went to bed bathless. It’s back this morning though thank goodness.

And now we are just hanging out again today (Monday). Oxana called yesterday to say that Natasha (coordinator) needed to go and meet with both baby house directors this morning to get the low down and we might, maybe, perhaps meet babies today but most likely not until tomorrow :-( BooHiss is all I have to say to that. I am a firm believer that we learn from every experience we have and what I am learning at this point is patience. Grrrr. ‘Til tomorrow…

Love to all, -m

Exploring- Oct 9

Hi everyone!

First of all, I want to thank my fabulous friend Maureen for the wireless internet modem. I can’t even tell you how fantastic it is to be able to check email and blog from my comfy sofa in the apartment where we are staying. And also, thank you to every single person who left comments here in the apartment log about how to use the washing machine (don’t laugh you people who have never been to Kaz, it’s hard to figure out in Russian!), what restaurants are good, how to get around, fun things to do. It is all priceless advice for us to have. And Rin has loved all of the toys people left too- the balloons are a particular hit. And there are lots of utensils and other helpful things. I have a very distinct memory of Peter in Astana desperately trying to open up a can of corn by pounding on it with a screwdriver. No need of that here since we have been totally set up with everything we could need. But most of all, it’s just nice to have a voice from the States when we are so far from everything we know. It gives a sense of home to know that we are not the first to tread this path.

We have been slowly getting over our jet lag and getting our bearings here. This city is pretty nice. And it’s very different from Astana. Being in Kaz at a different time of year is nice too (no mosquitos!). I just love Fall anywhere around the world. There is that crispness in the air and people bundled up against the cold. It’s just so cozy to be all wrapped up in warmth inside a coat and hat while the world around you is frosty. I love it. There are trees everywhere (Birch maybe? Poplar? I dunno) and all of their leaves are bright yellow. They are all painted white at the bottom (I’m assuming a bug deterrant of some kind) and it makes them really pretty. Our apartment is nice enough. The shower does no more than spit onto my head, the oven door fell off this morning when I opened it, and the bed is harder than the floor but we are very happy to be here. Most importantly it is close to everything. We are a couple of blocks from the city park and just a few minutes walking to the Ramstore (supermarket) and a pretty nice mall with everything we could need. I was very proud of the fact that we did not get charged for overweight baggage (unheard of for adoptive parents) but the honest truth is that we didn’t even need all of the stuff that we brought.

We have sort of just been trucking along so far. We did go to the baby house Friday and meet the one child who is currently available and I am glad we did because Rinat was driving me bonkers asking when we were going to see the babies every second of the day. His three year old self doesn’t really accept “I don’t know” as an answer. Of course when I actually held one, he was none too pleased (which the caretakers thought was really funny) but he’ll get over it. We will go back when there are more off the registry. So for now, we’re just hanging out and getting to know the town that our baby (cross your fingers, knock on wood, find a lucky clover) is from.

After the baby house, Oxana showed us around the town a bit and we went to the McDonald’s type place in the mall and then got some supplies at the Ramstore. After nap on Friday, we headed to the Ramstore yet again in search of something, anything that Rinat would eat that didn’t involve bread or loads of sugar. So we found hot dogs and they were, thankfully, a hit. Yes, I know, not the healthiest thing but better than being hungry. He ate 2 of them and that kept his belly full enough that he slept until 4:30 the next morning which was great.

 

On Saturday we got up and I made Ramen for breakfast (which always reminds me of a fabulous soup breakfast I had in Siem Reap, Cambodia- remember Ted and Liz?). Then we finally made the Shrinky Dinks that Rinat has been asking me about since he saw them in our luggage as I was packing to come here last week. Once it was light enough (and warm enough) to go somewhere, we went for a walk around the ‘hood to see what we could see. There were people sweeping everywhere with brooms made of twigs and then burning the leaves. I just love the smell of fire. It’s so primal and comforting. Rinat had fun ‘hiking’ in between the trees and listening to the crackle of the leaves under his feet. It made me slightly nervous because there are these random uncovered manholes with a very large drop down to the sewer all over the place but I noticed that people stick a long stick in them to mark them so he was careful. Along the way, we found some small community playgrounds and played hide and seek, ‘football’, seesaw, walking on the tires.

 


Eventually we ended up at the circus building and played there for a while. Again, there we about 10 or more people sweeping the dirt away from the brick plaza and a bunch of teenagers planting something in the grass. Across the street is the mall where we went to get some lunch. There’s a place on the second floor with a fab-u-lous latte and I can’t even tell you how happy I was to have it. It was an actually, just like at home, kind of latte and they even made a heart with the foam. So yum. And I don’t know why but all of a sudden I just can’t eat enough. I guess I haven’t really eaten to much for the last week (nerves and all) and my body is finally making up for it. I don’t actually feel nervous anymore and I guess my body can tell. In any case, I ordered a burger and they didn’t have the one I wanted so I just randomly pointed to another on the page. Let me tell you that this burger was not just big, but gargantuan. As big as a dinner plate and probably 4 inches tall. It was like one you’d find at those places where if you eat the whole thing you get it for free. And the burger was not just a regular burger, but a mixture of minced onions, spices, and meat so juicy that it dripped down onto the plate. Rinat kept telling me that my ‘meat puddle’ was getting deeper. It was good. Real good. Then it was off to the Jungle Park for a few more rounds of bumper cars, the smooshy playplace with the ball pit, Whack-a-mole, a kiddie ride that went round and round and up and down, air hockey, ski ball, PacMan, and a few other things I have a feeling that we are going to be living at that place.

And here we are. It’s Sunday morning and we are just getting geared up for our day. We’ve already done more Shrinky Dinks, watercolors, and now I am making some breakfast. We’re doin’ alright.

Love to all, -m

We're Here- Oct 7

Hi All-
It's taken us a little while to figure out the internet, how to access Blogger, and try to find some time to write but we are finally getting in a groove.  It's now Friday afternoon here and not much has changed since I wrote this yesterday.  Looks like we there won't be any more news until Monday so we're just going to spend some time settling in until then.  Here's what our trip has been like so far.

What is it about being with kids that just changes your whole attitude? If Rin wasn’t with us I would be a complete ball of stress. But with him, I have no choice but to be upbeat, positive, and excited about our adventure. He has had a blast on our adventure so far. And I have to say that sometimes people are just really nice. He loved when the check-in lady let him use the scale to weigh his bag even though they didn’t need to. He loved showing off the baby photo on his passport. It was a race up every escalator. Hallways were not walked down but instead skipped. It was an adventure. He made the long long trip fun, pure and simple fun. So who got to eat m&m’s for breakfast in the Frankfurt airport? The best boy in the world. And he even shared. If there was an award for the best traveler ever he he’d win hands down.

Our stay in Almaty was a complete blur of sleeplessness but it was nice to have a day to get our bearings being in Kaz. We got in at midnight and got to sleep by 2am. We slept until 6 and I was very impressed with us and felt we were winning the battle with jet lag. Then we wandered around, got some food, had a 3 hour long meeting (which Rinat was not a big fan of), wandered and got some more food, took a 4 hour nap by accident (not so proud of that, guess we’re losing the battle after all), went to dinner at Assorti (where 3 years ago we met a very nice woman who was adopting her second), and went to bed. Spending the day in Almaty brought back such strong memories of being new parents there with Rinat. Our apartment this time was on the same street as the hotel we stayed in before so we just wandered around saying “Hey, I remember this place!” as we passed a certain store or landmark. It was sort of like déjà vu but with the fruits of our labor all grown up and walking around with us. It was such a good feeling. Then Rin was up at 3am which was actually sort of OK because we had to meet our driver at 5:15 anyway to take us to the airport so at least we didn’t over sleep. Then it was on another plane (candy with takeoff and landing which Rinat was super excited about) and here we are. 

The boys are napping and I am enjoying some peace and quiet. All is good. And as for when we might visit the baby house, we were told one thing in Almaty and a different thing here so my attitude is just going to be a wait and see. Adoption is such a roller coaster. And as we are topping the last big hill of the coaster, I’m going to just throw up my hands, let go of all control, and ride laughing the whole way down with my boys beside me. We’ll keep you posted. Love to all, -m

No More Doom and Gloom

Hi all-


I was uncharacteristically filled with doom and gloom the last couple of days, I know.  What can I say?  I was sad.  We are doing better today and feeling positive about things and getting excited to get on a plane to see what possibilities that it holds. If things don't work out how we hope they do, at least Rinat will have gotten a chance to visit his home country. He's pretty excited about it. He asked some questions that I didn't really know how to answer about why things changed but I told him that we are going to Kaz to see where he came from and we hope to meet some nice people along the way and show him what the baby house is like. He seemed OK with that and asked if I could stop talking and play A Hundred Million Years Ago with him now (known to normal people as playing pretend with a bunch of plastic dinosaurs). He's so funny.  Anyway, we were really bummed for a while but are thinking a lot more positive thoughts now.

We'll be in touch as much as we can while we're there. It might be a while before we update the blog due to internet issues or just being too darn busy with jet lag and a three year old so don't freak out if we don't update right away. I promise we will as soon as we can. We won't actually be where we're going until Thursday so it'll be almost another week from now before we know anything anyway.

A big big thank you to my wonderful cousins who are staying at our house while we’re away. MassieCat is very excited that you are coming. He’s saving lots of purrs for you.

And, last but not least, those of you who are going, have fun at Kate and Jason's wedding! Hopefully we WON'T see you there.

Lots of love,
-m

Another Ride on the Coaster of Adoption

We hit another bump in the road. I’m frustrated. I’m pissed off. I’m devastated. I’m worried about what’s going to happen. I have no idea how to make sense of this for Rinat. I know life has no guarantees but haven’t we had our fair share of dealing with difficult, life altering decisions? Aren’t we done yet? Apparently not. Adoption is like playing a card game with a bunch of 3 year olds. They make the rules, tell you some of them, and then change them with no warning so that just when you think you have won the game, they tell you that there’s some unspoken rule that you didn’t follow and you have to keep playing with no idea of how to win. It’s impossible to know how to actually come out ahead so you just keep laying down your cards and hope they are the right ones. All that I can hope is that we will finally win a hand this time next week. Only time will tell. I know this post is cryptic and only my wonderful and supportive and compassionate family and friends know what I am talking about. I just ask that you put some good vibes out into the world that things will go our way. We are leaving for Kaz next week and are hopeful that we will meet a child to join our family. And if we don’t then we come home and we start over. As my sweet husband said last night, “We’ll have another baby one way or another because I don’t know anyone who’s more stubborn that you.” He knows me well :)
Go give your kids a big hug and tell them how happy you are to have them. love, - m