The Days of Bek

Hi All-

It’s been a year.  An entire year since a little boy turned our world around.  There we were in on the other side of the world discussing how long we could wait it out before we gave up on three years of hoping and went home baby-less to start over. 

And then we met HIM. 

In a little room, filled with strangers, Rinat was playing quietly with toys from the baby house director’s shelves.  The adults were chit-chatting but I was silent, nerves taking over my body, brain going a million miles a minute, waiting to meet a boy- the boy who could be ours.  They warned us he would cry.  “He is not good with strangers,” they said.  But they brought him in, all tucked into the arms of his nanny and covered head to toe but for his little round face.  She turned him to face us and I prepared myself for the tears.  But they didn’t come.  From either of us.  I was too happy.  He was too scared.  They asked if I wanted to hold him and I reached up to hold this bundle of cloth with a face.  He looked down at me and I looked up at him and I took him gently and put him in my lap while they told us his life story.  In his short life he had already lived in two different cities and been taken care of by countless numbers of people.  I was hoping (if all the stars aligned) we would be the last in that long line.  That we would be the people he could call his family.  Time stopped as I tried my hardest to look at his little face with out jostling him, without pushing too hard to know him- so as not to scare him- and all of the other people in the room disappeared.  I looked into those beautiful dark eyes like deep pools and I just wanted to jump in.  I came back to reality and realized Peter couldn’t see his face and so before they could take him back to his room, I turned him to look at his beautiful Daddy who said “Hi there!” and it was too much for him.  His little face screwed up into the pre-cry face that I have now learned to know so well and they whisked him off before it became full blown.  But we were left with the afterglow of the promise that we would get to see this sweet little one again tomorrow.  And our life as a family of four began. 

Our little boys are lucky.  Not only do they have the day of their birthday to celebrate them but a whole series of days- the day we met, the day the court said yes, the day we took him from the Baby House, the day we brought him home.  And when the weather begins to change and the days turn colder, we begin The Days of Bek.  Days when we remember all of the steps along to way to becoming his family.  We have special treats, lots of telling and remembering the story, some gifts, and lots and lots of hugs and kisses.

The other day I asked Rinat, “What do you love the most about Bek?”  His immediate response was to pantomime and then say, “Hugs.  I love his hugs the most.”  I totally and completely agree.  He gives the kind of hugs that let you know that he loves you with all of his little being, tight squishy hugs full of love.  He’ll be getting a whole lot of them back from his Mama.  Each and every day.

I swear our little guy just knew it was his day today.  I went to get him up and the first thing he did was stick his little fingers up in the air and shake his hips from side to side in a celebration dance with a big smile on his face.  I hope you all find a reason to do a little dance today.  I have many- but one big reason in particular today.  I feel a dance party coming on.

Love to all, -m