A Day of Love

Hey All!

I’ve tried to start writing this a couple of times so far but I just don’t even know how to put into words how deliriously happy I am right now. Or maybe it’s just that I am so tired that I can hardly put a sentence together. One or the other. There have been many happy times in my life but last night and today have been just blown away the competition. I have all my boys together again and I can barely believe it has finally happened. The world is good and my heart is absolutely overflowing. And so are my tears. I just can’t stop them from coming. There was a part of me that was always a tiny bit on guard until it was done. But now there is not one single thing to get in the way of it being the four of us together forever. Now that wall is ripped down, smashed up, and put in the shredder and my heart is utterly open to invite this little one into it fully and completely. And he is crawling, cooing, laughing, babbling, and snuggling himself right on in.

But what a trip back home it was. It, as all Kaz flight seem to do, started when we were picked up at 1am to head to the airport in Almaty. Little man wasn’t too out of whack being woken up in the dead of night and stuck into the dreaded snowsuit yet again. Just a little crying and then he laid his head on my chest and was happy again. Things went well, we got lots of smiles from everyone (except the Kaz passport guys who looked a little pissed actually when they saw Bek’s Kaz passport). He was also pretty good waiting at the airport too. He just sort of chilled in the stroller mostly. As we were waiting around for our flight, a woman (American looking) was fast walking around the area with a stroller of her own and said “Congratulations” as she passed which took me a little off guard (it was 2am after all). Carson has been obsessed that everyone thinks we are lesbians adopting a baby together this whole time and so she was on a search to talk to the lady again and casually drop the ‘My friend’s husband is home with their other son’ to set things straight. So we started looking around for her. As we looked, we noticed that there were several of us non-Kazakhs with babies on the flight. Four to be exact and so we gravitated to each other and shared our stories. Two of the four were also in Karaganda at the other baby house and then the woman who had congratulated us (who, yes, was set straight by Carson) was in Ust. What a small world. Not to mention meeting (don’t think I mentioned anyway) a woman and her sister in Frankfurt, on their way to Kaz, who recognized me from the blog. Super small world. In any case, our flight was called, we bundled him up yet again, and headed to Germany. He was pretty decent on the flight. It helped that there were at least three other babies on the flight crying so he just sort of blended into the mix. Overall, no complaints. I shoulda known it wouldn’t be that easy…

So we got to Frankfurt and just sort of hung out for a bit- got some coffee, bought some internet minutes, strolled Aibek to sleep, Carson took a short nap. Sidebar- Carson cannot for the life of her, despite multiple glasses of wine AND Ambien, sleep on a plane. But she has no problems whatsoever falling asleep in seconds in a booth at a café in the middle of a crowded airport in a foreign country. Really? Anyway, sidebar done- we were just hanging out trying to waste the time we had there. Until we looked at our itinerary… and realized our flight left in less that an hour. Oh shit! Shut down computer, pack stuff back into bags, grab stroller, and run to monitor to see that it is…dundundun….cancelled. So we went to the Lufthansa counter to see what the deal was and they said “Oh yeah, it’s because of the blizzard.” Um, ‘scuse me? Blizzard? In DC? As Rinat would say “What the J?” So they then sent us down to the United counter (who was operating the flight) and basically told us to run because they might be able to get us on the 12:15 flight. So Mama ran with Baby, followed by Friend with all the bags down the terminal hallway, down the stairs and to the counter where we were told “Oh no worries, you and the baby are on the flight. But your friend? Nope.” Say what? So they got her a standby ticket and we rushed down to the gate to see what we could do- beg, plead, pay somebody off. As easy as our first flight had been, this one was making up for it. Carson is talking to the gate agent, I am trying to find a place to change stinky diaper #3 of the day without having to change him on my lap (gross), running around like a chicken with my head cut off so I can get back and try to evoke some sympathy from the flight people. There was just no way I could leave Carson stranded in the airport after she came all of the way to Kazakhstan to help me. But there was also no way I could stay at the airport because I would literally have to stay at the airport since Bek, Mr. Kazakh citizen, had no visa to enter Germany. It was total insanity. So we are waiting and waiting and they start calling all of the people to board. First it’s the Awards Members and First Class, then the people with children and elderly, and then they begin general boarding and still nothing. Officials keep telling me I have to board and I keep saying “No, I have to make sure my friend is on the plane.” And finally when everyone else has boarded, we hear those sweet words “Carson Hobby, please come to the check-in counter” Hallelujah. I didn’t even care where her seat was as long as she got on that friggin plane.

It turns out that the stewardesses, however, did care. Carson tells me (or so she says) she repeatedly kept trying to come up to check on me and the stewardess kept telling her that she was not allowed into my class of seats (Um, was that Crappy class? Or Bitchy Stewardess Class? Either would be an accurate description) But it didn’t really matter all that much anyway. My perfect child slept. For 6 hours. I mean, it wasn’t exactly sound slumber or anything but it was sleep. He was on my lap and would only lie facing up, fingers in mouth, head on my belly. He would, ever so slowly, begin to slide further and further down my lap and so about every 20 minutes I would have to rouse myself from my semi-slumber and gently ease him back up without completely waking his cute little finger-sucking self. At one point, the man beside me (who was super nice and offered to help me many times) actually woke me up to point out the fact that literally the only part of him still technically on my lap was his head and shoulders. I actually knew that but have any of you tried to hold a sleeping baby for 6 hours straight? It’s exhausting! The last two hours or so of the flight, I actually woke him up because I just couldn’t do it anymore. I had to get up and move a little bit at least. Carson spied me after a bit and headed up my way into- oohaah- business economy class or whatever it was. So we got to hang out for the last little bit.

Carson was worried about missing her connection in DC so when the wheels touched down, she booked it out of there to get to the front of the passport line. If anyone from DC passport control out there is listening, it would be super great if there was a line for families. I’m just sayin’. In Kaz, we get bumped to the front. Frankfurt has special security lines for families. But in the nation’s capital, we have to trudge though like cattle being led to slaughter. Bummer. But we got to the front finally and- final step in the adoption process- handed over the big fat immigration envelope to the not so nice passport man, wait for him to fill out some forms, and we were done. So I ran out to try and find Carson before she headed to her next flight and was sort of surprised to find that she was still there watching the luggage go round and round. But none of it was hers. So off she goes to the counter and they have, in fact, lost it. And she has missed her flight. And there are no more today. Oh but wait, what about other airports (thank the lord that we live in a big city). Yup, one flying out of DCA in a couple of hours. DONE. Silver lining? She got to walk out with me and see my sweet boys greet the new member of our family. And it was good.

Peter and Rinat were waiting with balloons and smiles and hugs and happy tears. I saw them and immediately started crying to. I was just so amazingly happy to be home where we belong and together again. We caught up for just a minute and then little man had a stinky diaper (of course, what’s new) and so Rinat went with me to change it. He was just so so amazingly sweet with his new baby brother. He jumped up and down and twirled around in circles to make him laugh, he handed him toys and made funny faces, he said ‘kuhkoo’ and tickled him under the chin, and he even told me he’s giving him one of his favorite stuffed animals, AhAh the monkey. It was everything I had hoped- minus the stinky diaper that is. It’s crazy that changing a smelly swampy diaper in the airport bathroom is one of my favorite memories but what can I say- some of the best times in life are not about fancy clothes and big to-do’s but just the everyday ones, covered in spit-up, covered in love.

So we hopped in the car, happy to be back in the US and drove Carson to Reagan National. Rinat was excited to have not just me in the backseat with him (doesn’t happen often) but also his little brother. Poor little Bek though hadn’t had his fill of sleep and shook his head back and forth and back and forth and back and forth soothing himself until he drifted off. It was hard to say goodbye to Carson at the airport. I mean, how can I even begin to say thank you for something like that? It’s just not possible. But the thing is- she knows. She knows because I would have done the same for her. In a second. Any time she needs me. No matter what. That’s just how it is with us. She is treasured and I am lucky to have her. So Carse, wanna head back in say, about 3 years? HaHaHa

And then we headed home. Thankfully, our power came back on while Peter was at the airport. He had packed a bag to stay at a hotel but we got to head home after all. The sheets were dirty, dishes unwashed since the power had gone out a day ago, but it was home and I couldn’t have been happier to be there. Poor Bek was woken up yet again and Rinat could not wait to show him around the house. He wanted to tell him anything and everything about living here and being in our family- including the rules which made me laugh. I let them play for a bit while I made some dinner. And, again, as we sat around the dinner table, the four of us, I thought about how absolutely lucky I am to have all three of my boys in my life. I would not be the same person without each and every one of them. They have all changed me for the better.

Then it was bath and bed. Bek seemed to really enjoy his first bath, unlike the shower in Kaz. He was mesmerized by the moving water and pretty much just stayed at still as he could. I washed off all of the stink from the last few days and he was a soft, fluffy-haired baby again. And so cuddly. And Rinat was super excited because when I handed Bek over to Peter, I told Rin he could come in the bath with me for a few minutes which he LOVES. I’m sure he’ll hate me for it later, but he loves taking a bath with his mama. My sweet boy. After bath, we put the boys (the boyS!) to bed. Bek was fussing a little bit but I left him alone to sooth himself. Then I heard Rin go in there and tell him in his sweet little voice, “Aibek, it’s time for bed little guy. Look outside, it’s nighttime.” He’s being an absolutely wonderful big brother. Zero complaints. I’m amazed by him.

Bek was up a couple of times in the night but did pretty well actually and was up for good at 4:30. Damn that jet lag, but I can’t really complain. Rin woke at 7 and we all rolled around on the bed together for a while. Another memory for my all time best memories list. I loved it. Aibek was ready for a nap soon after and Rin was so bummed. He wanted him to play but I assured him he’d have plenty of time. And it was good because it gave Rin some time with me that was much needed. I missed him so much while we were gone. The snow was falling outside and I was curled up in my robe with coffee in hand, baby sleeping upstairs, big brother playing quietly downstairs, reading all of the well wishes on email, Facebook, and the blog. I have to admit something- I was in my robe from the time I woke up, until after dinner and I am not apologizing for it. Don’t new mamas get to take it easy for a while? I sure did. I soaked up the entire day from 4:30 in the morning when my little sweet chunks let us know he was all done sleeping until I just laid his sweet little head back down in his crib tonight. It was a good day. An amazing day actually. A day for the record books. I hope yours was too.

Love to all, -m

Sorry for the long winded post but I didn’t want to leave a single second out. Every single little thing added up to a difficult, amazing, exhausting, stressful, and blissful experience. And, thank goodness, now it’s done and we are back to our everyday lives.  Thank goodness for the loving magic that happens every day I am with these guys.