He's a Big Boy Now

Have you ever gotten to the end of a vacation and said to yourself “How did it somehow get away from me? It just flew by- I had so much more that I wanted to do!” This used to happen to me at the end of every break I had while teaching- rooms I wanted to paint, things I wanted to write, places I wanted to go. This is sort of how I feel about Rin going off to school. It is just unreal to me that it’s not just me and him anymore. I know that I didn’t have to send him off to school at two and a half but I think it was the right thing to do for him. And we have had tons of fun the last two years (has it been that long?!) and have had so many wonderful experiences but I still can’t believe that it’s time for me to hand him over to someone else- if only for a few hours a day. It has been a big change for him. On Friday he started crying before we even got out of the car- but every morning when the alarm clock goes off he says “I go school today!” with a big smile on his face and every day when I pick him up at the end of his school day, he’s happy and exhausted and tells me that he had a good day so I know that he likes it despite the crying. The first day of school I, of course, wanted to know all about it when I picked him up and the things he talked most about were: the bed that he laid on and read books, and the map on the floor. So the next day when I brought him to school, I had him show me these things and he showed me the bed (a beanbag) and the map (the Montessori maT/rug that he does his ‘work’ on). He was sooo excited and wanted me to stay but of course I couldn’t and that brought on crying bout number one of his school experience (nope, not one single tear on the first day- he was too excited). It’s been so fun hearing about school every day. Sometime he comes home and tells me about the ‘new park’ that they went to, the garden where they are growing ‘matoes’, or the fact that he ate a cereal bar for snack. And I don’t want to be That Parent who is too involved in their kids performance so I haven’t really asked how he’s doing yet but the teachers, without me even asking, stopped me as I was leaving to tell me they are very impressed with his vocabulary and intelligence (see, I told you!). It makes me so happy to hear that I’m not the only one who thinks he’s smart. So, all in all, school seems to be going well. And he sings all the time now which I just love. On Friday it was the HokeyPokey which brought back memories of my middle school years at the roller rink. But all this time to myself has got me thinking a lot about Rin’s mom in Kazakhstan. Now that I am gone from him long enough to wonder what he is doing when I’m not with him and if he is being treated well and if he’s happy/hungry/sad/laughing I have the tiniest inkling of what she might feel. I know it’s not nearly the same thing because I get to pick him up at the end of his short day and give him a big hug and walk hand in hand to the car while we talk about all the fun he had but I have found myself thinking about her more and more and about how hard it must be not to know. So I have just made a point this week of holding him just a little tighter and hoping that she can somehow sense his happiness and know that he’s in good hands. Who knows, maybe one day we’ll be able to find a way to tell her in person. I can only hope. And as you see from the photos, we took a trip to the beach the week before school started. Rin had an absolute blast and, as usual, is totally completely, utterly fearless. It terrifies me and makes me proud at the same time. We bought him a little boogie board and he spent hours and hours ‘surfing’ on it. He actually has pretty good balance- I was impressed that he could hold onto one of my hands and stand up on it as I pulled it over the waves. I don’t think I could do that if I tried (which I didn’t). It’s a long haul down there (9 hours in the car) but worth every second- weekend visits with family are wonderful but always just a little too short. A whole week with Granddaddy, Nana, the aunts/uncles/cousins, and friends is priceless. I love the beach and all but there is just something about seeing the sheer joy on my son’s face as he finds an interesting shell, gets knocked over by a wave, chases seagulls, or just runs all out across the sand that makes it so much more fun. What can I say but the beach is just fun- and even more fun with family. Off to pick up Rin from school (still can’t believe I’m saying that). Hope you all get to spend some time in the sun before Fall comes! -m

A Delayed Post

I actually wrote this post weeks ago and am just now posting it. There will be another one soon I promise.
It’s been a while I know. We have been busy but not with anything super exciting- just little piddly stuff. Our guy is just growing and growing and becoming such a little person. He can do a whole host of things on his own now- get himself dressed (shirt included!- when he feels like it), get a snack, go to the bathroom. It’s amazing. This was the scene about a month or so ago when I was teaching him to come downstairs after he was done napping rather than me going up to get him. He woke up and yelled for me as usual which I ignored thinking he would just come down when he got tired of yelling. This goes on for a while until it is suddenly quiet and I assume he’s on his way down. I then hear a flush and the door to his room close again. I go up to see what he’s up to and he tells me ‘natnat take diapie off, put in diapie trash, go poopyballs, wipe bottom, flush, put on pants and play’ (notice there’s nothing about washing hands in that exchange- nice). I can’t believe he can do all that at the age when most little boys are just trying out potty training. But he’s not totally grown yet. It’s crazy- one minute he’s completely independent and insisting that he do things himself and then the next, he is running to me telling me ‘I need hugs Mama’ when he has trouble hitting the golf ball or gets both legs stuck in one leg-hole of his underwear and falls over when he tries to walk (and I try not to laugh). I’m still needed sometimes at least! He is most definitely at that age when he can do so much and gets really upset when he can’t do exactly what it is that he wants to do. When he is sobbing so hard that he can barely catch his breath, I tell him “Take a big breath and blow out the candle” and after a couple of those, he is finally calm enough to tell me what’s wrong. And of course whatever loves I give out come back to me tenfold. When I get upset he tells me “Don’t worry Mama, I make you feel better” and gives me the biggest, squishiest hug and doesn’t let go until I smile. Is there anything better? And he does the same thing for his best friend Bubby. I can’t even tell you how many times I overhear a conversation he is having in the other room and he says "Don’t worry, Boo Bubby. I hep you.” I hope that means I am raising a helpful and compassionate little guy. Other than that, he’s just really funny sometimes. He got a new shark toy for the bath and we would say the Jaws theme as we pretended it was going to attach him and he kept asking “Why you say dat, Mama?” I finally realized after literally weeks of him asking my why, that he thought we were saying ‘DO-NUT…DO-NUT…donutdonutdonutdonut’ and it was only when he informed me that sharks really like donuts and I put two and two together. It’s so funny what they hear. Hope all’s well with you. More soon. -m

A Visit from the Binky Fairy

Yesterday was sort of momentous in our household. I have been so incredibly nervous about getting Rin to give up the naptime/bedtime binkies. He is extremely attached to them and I was even asking advice of our social worker about how to have it gone by the time he’s 3. So I have been talking up the Binky Fairy a lot and telling him how , when he’s ready, the BF will take his binkies to give to the babies who need them. Every time we hear a baby crying somewhere, I tell him “UhOh, that baby needs a binky!” I have asked a few times if he wants to leave some for The Fairy and he always said “NO! NATNAT’S BINKIES!” and basically grabbed them and ran away. But then, just when I had almost decided I was going to have to force the issue, he surprised me. We were emptying the dishwasher and he noticed that one of his binkies had a hole in it and I asked if he would go put it in the trash for me. He said, “No, I give it to the Binky Fairy for the babies who are sad.” “And I give the babies this one too.” And he handed me another one. I was really taken by surprise and I pointed out that that only left one clean one for bedtime and he said “That’s alright, I have 1 binky” (despite his normal 2 that he gets) and he walked off. And that was that. We left the 2 binkies and a note by the front door and the BF left him 3 lollipops in return (it was all I could find in the house!). For some reason though he kept telling me that it wasn’t the Fairy but the babies who left them, but whatever. He is now down to 1 binky per sleepytime. I am guessing that he will eventually decide he wants some more lollipops and leave the remaining 2 that we have. I’ll give him a few weeks. Truly I couldn’t believe it. He’s such a big boy. And I funny one. The ‘mean face’ that he does (photo above), makes me laugh out loud every single time- especially when he does the tongue thing that makes the sound ‘bluhblehbluhblehbluhbleh’ at the same time (I’ll have to get that one on video for future reference). And his ‘scary bear’ impression is good but the ‘baby bear’ that he does next makes it even better. But sometimes it’s not even intentional- he is just funny because he’s 2. We were driving back from the lake and he was completely entertaining himself in the backseat. Some of the priceless comments he made not to anyone in particular I heard were “I love hay- it tickles your hand,” “Look! I have two elbows!,” “Hawks and vultures are really big birds” and “I love worms, and lightening bugs, and beetle bugs, and caterpillars”. But I have to say that the best part of the lake is seeing him with the rest of the family. I think he’s adorable but to see other people see the same is just so fun. It was a good little getaway and he, as always, loved every ounce of attention that he got. Now back to the real world… Happy 4th! -m
Oh, and here are photos of the Astana Crew in 2007 and then in Nashville in 2009. What a difference 2 years makes. I hope there are many more of these photos in the coming years. Yay Astana!

Kazapalooza 2009- Nashville

Hi all- We went to Kazapalooza this weekend to get together with 3 of the families that we traveled with along with about 62 others who adopted from Kaz and we had an absolute blast. Our Kaz friends and I had been trading emails for the last few weeks so by the time we checked into the hotel I was so excited. I kept looking around at every person in the hotel to see who I knew and you could spot the Kaz families immediately- but not because they looked different in the way you would think. They just seemed to give off an excitement and love that was so obvious. There were no harried parents, no ‘hurry up and get over here’, just happiness. That seemed to be the theme of the weekend. There’s just something about families created by adoption- some extra spark, an extra level of love, that you can’t really explain to anyone who hasn’t been a part of it. What can I say but that adopters are good people? Not because they have ‘saved’ a child- that’s not what I am talking about at all- but because they truly appreciate how lucky they are to have the family that they do. Maybe it’s because of all the hoops we have to jump though to get there, I don’t know, but it comes through nonetheless. The most exciting part of it for me was that we got to see our good friends from Kaz- the ones who were in Astana when we were. It was almost like seeing cousins or something. Instead of feeling like it had been almost 2 years since we’d seen each other in person, it seemed more like 2 days and we were right back to where we left off. And the kids, oh those adorable kids, they had exactly the same personalities that they did back in Kaz and it was so cute to see them all grown up- walking, talking, and being full of toddler spunk. And I got to meet a lot of people whose stories I have followed via the Internet which was so great. I have read all about the and the ups and downs of their lives and now I got to see their sweet children’s faces in person- and they are even cuter (if that’s even possible) than the photos! And speaking of those cute kids- how adorable are those Kaz faces!? I took a minute out to just stand in the doorway on Friday night and watch the ‘family reunion’ taking place and it just filled my heart. People had come from all over the country to be a part of this unique experience and I felt so lucky to be there. Every single one of those families is such a blessing. People tell us all the time how lucky Rinat is to have been adopted by us and my answer is always “We are the lucky ones”. I can guarantee that every single person in that room feels the same way about the little light of their lives. The quote on the T-Shirt for the weekend read “Adoption won’t change the world, but for that child the world will change.” A good quote, yes, but I feel it’s somehow lacking because it changes not only the life of that child but of the entire family. I know that Rinat has certainly changed our world- the way we define family, what we feel is important, and most of all he taught us just how full our hearts could be. He has made our world. So our weekend was pretty much the best I’ve had in a good long while. We are planning on Kazapalooza 2010 in Milwaukie and 2011 in Florida (unless of course we’re in Kaz meeting baby Leggett #2 that is!). Thank you, thank you, thank you to Gretchen, Muriel, Michelle, and Kristan for organizing such a fantastic weekend. It was truly wonderful. Love to all -m

Happy Day

Is there any better sight than seeing your child run full speed across the backyard on a gorgeous spring day- arms tucked under, looking straight at you with a smile that shows pure, overflowing happiness? I think not. Just had to share it. Hope you're having a beautiful day too. -m

Not so Terrible Two's

Hello all- I have been meaning to write for a while now because the terrible two’s phase was mostly just temporary. Seriously, it was. After a couple of weeks, our sweet little guy has turned back into his sweet little self. And in retrospect I realized that this phase coincided with a huge increase in appetite and a growth spurt of about an inch. So maybe he was just surly because he was hungry and growing. I don’t know. Aside from him suddenly growing out of all of his pants, he is getting bigger in other ways. He is a jokester for one, always telling me things just to get a laugh out of me. One of his recent best happened when we took the rail off of his crib (OooAaah, a big boy bed!). He has done amazingly well with it- he only needed to be put back into bed 3 times the first night and has been doing great ever since- but the first day that I put him down for nap I knew he was going to be trouble. He was all riled up from being cooped up in the house due to never-ending rain but I did my best to put him down like usual anyway. We read two stories, did his ‘rock the baby game’, 2 binkies, and tucked him in and I reminded him that if he came out of his room I would just go put him right back in bed. And then I went down to wash the dishes. I could hear him kind of giggling at the rush of freedom he now had and I would hear these little footsteps run back and forth from his room to ours and back again. I just ignored it, thinking that if I paid attention to him it would just turn it into a fun game for him and I would spend hours running back up the stairs to put him back in his bed. Eventually he started yelling for me but again I decided to just ignore it and hope that he would get bored and stop. He was at the top of the stairs yelling “Mama! Mama!” as loud as he could. After a while it turned into “Maamaaa! Where aaaaare yooooou?” pause, then finally “Mamaaaaaamaaaaaaaaaa!” as loud as he his little voice would let him. So finally, I gave in and was thinking this was going to be a really really long naptime today so I walked to the bottom of the stairs resigned that I was going to get nothing done during my supposed time off- “Yes, Rinat what is it?” and he informed me “NatNat COCO LOCO FRUITCAKE!” And he ran off to his room giggling all the way. All I could do was walk around the corner so he couldn’t hear me and laugh my head off. He’s so friggin cute! And he is just so amazingly vocal. I can have a conversation with him on the phone and understand exactly what he is saying without any help or translation from Peter at all. I can’t believe he’s already old enough to do that. He is really into emotions lately and will tell me “NatNat frustrated/mad/sad/goodboy/having trouble/soexcited” and, my favorite one, “Natnat lucky boy Mama!” when I bought him a soccer ball at the zoo. And he wants to figure out how everyone else feels too. He will ask about people on TV and want to know how they are feeling but I really cracks me up because I tell him all the time that if he does something that I don’t want him to that Mommy is ‘not happy’. The little manipulator that he is, he will go and pretend to make me cupcakes or play the drums and sing for me and then ask “Mommy happy now? YOU (with an emphatic finger point), YOU happy now?” How could I not smile at that? He has so much darn personality and I see a lot of my facial expressions come out in him. The other day he was telling me that milk came from cows and I explained to him that while that was true, there actually are different kinds of milk and that in his country some people even drink milk from horses. From the look on his face you would have thought that I had said the sky was green or something. It was absolutely hilarious. He squinted his little eyes up and furrowed his brow and gave me a look so like my own that I felt like I could have been looking into a mirror. So this week we have been trying cheeses made from different kinds of milk and he really likes them- especially the goat cheese from Whole Foods. I sure hope he keeps that adventurous spirit as he grows up. Especially when we go to Kaz and eat all kind of things with gristle and bones and unidentifiable bits. It was not my favorite country I’ve been to food-wise but it was certainly the most worthwhile place I’ve ever been. We celebrated Easter here at the house and Rin was just so excited about the whole thing that it was unbelievable. It’s the first holiday we have celebrated at home so for a week or so before, Rinat kept asking “Easter Bunny coming to Reenat’s house?” (he’s starting to drop the NatNat and call himself Rinat now) over and over again like he just couldn’t believe how lucky he was that the EB would grace us with his presence. And on the morning of, he came creeping into our room at 6:05 (way before our usual 7:00 wakeup) but I made him wait until ‘the Easter Bunny was all finished’ and then we followed the trail to his basket and he went completely bonkers. He got new golf clubs and candy and puzzles and books. He wasn’t actually all that interested in the backyard egg hunt though. He found about 5 of them and declared he was ‘all done’ as he stuffed about 30 jelly beans in his mouth so I had to go and hunt down the other 23 before the ants got to them. But we did have a ton of fun dyeing some real ones the day before. And he watched the old timey Easter Bunny movie with Fred Astaire over and over and over again. A good time was had by all. Other than that, we’ve just been living life and looking forward to going to Kazapalooza to see all of our Kaz friends in June- can’t wait! Love to all. -m Oh and I will leave you to ponder something. Rin is doing a great job talking but sometimes the things he says sound like something else entirely. The other day he said a word and I actually stopped in my tracks and had to think “Did he really say what it sounded like he said?” But no, he was trying to tell me about the new ‘asphalt’ being laid down on the street by some workers. So go ahead and try to figure out what it sounded like :-)

No More Cookies for Mama

There’s no other way to say it- our little boy is turning into a handful. He is a foot stomping, ‘no!’ yelling, tantrum throwing 2 year old. Don’t get me wrong, he’s also adorable, smart, and responsible, but he is truly testing every limit that there is these days. But that’s what he’s supposed to be doing at this age, right? And boy is he demanding. He loves to yell “GET OFF THE PHONE MAMA!” over and over again anytime I am on it more than 2 minutes and “RIGHT NOW!” in regards to anything he wants. It is sometimes annoying and sometimes actually really funny. And he is getting so independent that it is sometimes shocking. He just watches and mimics anything that I do from checking his email like Mommy on his Thomas the Train computer to attempting to pee like dada (and of course peeing everywhere) to pretending to wrap up his toy trains and proclaiming “Happy Birthday Mama!” as he brings me yet another gift. But the one that I really couldn’t believe was when I was downstairs folding laundry and he was upstairs washing his hands when I heard “UhOh Mama, wawa” then a pause and “NatNat cleaning.” Of course I had to go check out the mess and found that he was indeed on the floor wiping up spilled water. I asked how it happened and he told me he was ‘fixing NatNat’s dinner’. I looked at the counter and he had actually gotten out a plate and washed some blueberries and put them on it, gotten a cup, filled it with water and placed it on the tray, and was in the process of trying to reach the cookies when he knocked over the water that caused the river of water currently flowing from the counter onto the floor. I couldn’t believe he was really making his own dinner. My little boy almost doesn’t even need me anymore! This was also proven when I left him with Peter for the fist time for 4 whole days when I went to visit Carson for the long weekend and he was (of course) totally happy without me. It was wonderful to have a break but I was definitely ready to see his smiling little face again by the time I got home. As a matter of fact, I was so happy that I agreed to take a shower with him (which he loves) and when we were in there he proclaimed “NatNat little bottom, Mama BIG bottom!” Thanks, hon. Way to boost my ego. I hope all you other big-bottomed gals out there are having a good March! -m