He's a Big Boy Now

Have you ever gotten to the end of a vacation and said to yourself “How did it somehow get away from me? It just flew by- I had so much more that I wanted to do!” This used to happen to me at the end of every break I had while teaching- rooms I wanted to paint, things I wanted to write, places I wanted to go. This is sort of how I feel about Rin going off to school. It is just unreal to me that it’s not just me and him anymore. I know that I didn’t have to send him off to school at two and a half but I think it was the right thing to do for him. And we have had tons of fun the last two years (has it been that long?!) and have had so many wonderful experiences but I still can’t believe that it’s time for me to hand him over to someone else- if only for a few hours a day. It has been a big change for him. On Friday he started crying before we even got out of the car- but every morning when the alarm clock goes off he says “I go school today!” with a big smile on his face and every day when I pick him up at the end of his school day, he’s happy and exhausted and tells me that he had a good day so I know that he likes it despite the crying. The first day of school I, of course, wanted to know all about it when I picked him up and the things he talked most about were: the bed that he laid on and read books, and the map on the floor. So the next day when I brought him to school, I had him show me these things and he showed me the bed (a beanbag) and the map (the Montessori maT/rug that he does his ‘work’ on). He was sooo excited and wanted me to stay but of course I couldn’t and that brought on crying bout number one of his school experience (nope, not one single tear on the first day- he was too excited). It’s been so fun hearing about school every day. Sometime he comes home and tells me about the ‘new park’ that they went to, the garden where they are growing ‘matoes’, or the fact that he ate a cereal bar for snack. And I don’t want to be That Parent who is too involved in their kids performance so I haven’t really asked how he’s doing yet but the teachers, without me even asking, stopped me as I was leaving to tell me they are very impressed with his vocabulary and intelligence (see, I told you!). It makes me so happy to hear that I’m not the only one who thinks he’s smart. So, all in all, school seems to be going well. And he sings all the time now which I just love. On Friday it was the HokeyPokey which brought back memories of my middle school years at the roller rink. But all this time to myself has got me thinking a lot about Rin’s mom in Kazakhstan. Now that I am gone from him long enough to wonder what he is doing when I’m not with him and if he is being treated well and if he’s happy/hungry/sad/laughing I have the tiniest inkling of what she might feel. I know it’s not nearly the same thing because I get to pick him up at the end of his short day and give him a big hug and walk hand in hand to the car while we talk about all the fun he had but I have found myself thinking about her more and more and about how hard it must be not to know. So I have just made a point this week of holding him just a little tighter and hoping that she can somehow sense his happiness and know that he’s in good hands. Who knows, maybe one day we’ll be able to find a way to tell her in person. I can only hope. And as you see from the photos, we took a trip to the beach the week before school started. Rin had an absolute blast and, as usual, is totally completely, utterly fearless. It terrifies me and makes me proud at the same time. We bought him a little boogie board and he spent hours and hours ‘surfing’ on it. He actually has pretty good balance- I was impressed that he could hold onto one of my hands and stand up on it as I pulled it over the waves. I don’t think I could do that if I tried (which I didn’t). It’s a long haul down there (9 hours in the car) but worth every second- weekend visits with family are wonderful but always just a little too short. A whole week with Granddaddy, Nana, the aunts/uncles/cousins, and friends is priceless. I love the beach and all but there is just something about seeing the sheer joy on my son’s face as he finds an interesting shell, gets knocked over by a wave, chases seagulls, or just runs all out across the sand that makes it so much more fun. What can I say but the beach is just fun- and even more fun with family. Off to pick up Rin from school (still can’t believe I’m saying that). Hope you all get to spend some time in the sun before Fall comes! -m