Dec 2014- Tidbits & Birthdays

Hi all,

First, some tidbits from December.

I wanted to know why Rin and his friend were trying to leave our house in secret without telling one of the neighbor boys who was there so I asked him about it.  One of the neighbors was apparently being mean to Bek and hurting him and so Rin and his friend took it upon themselves to save his little brother and they double-teamed this kid.  Part of me wanted to reprimand him but then another part?  Well, I loved that he defended his little brother.  

Aibek told me that I was "the meanest mommy ever" and I said "I know, Rinat tells me that I am mostly  mean".  Pause.  "Mommy, you nice almost all the time, but sometimes you a little bit mean.  It all right.  I love you da most, you my best mommy."

Overheard Bek asking Nona to marry him when they are grownups.  He asks, "Are they husband and wife?" about people on a TV show.   This one’s a lover. And a fighter actually.  He is kicking ass at speech and just absolutely loves it.

Our days are filled with birthday parties and decorating and playdates and brunches.

Rin said, "Ms. King told me I'm a risk taker" bc he was not afraid to say he's not sure what the answer is or to ask about something that he doesn't know.  I told him about the Chinese proverb "He who asks is a fool for 5 minutes, he who does not ask remains a fool forever".  I love that he's always asking.

Bek just wants to snuggle nonstop and I hate to say no but sometimes I just can't.

LICE again.  Ugh.  I told Rin he couldn't go to a birthday sleepover and I felt like an evil woman but he was just so overdone that I didn't think it was a good idea.  I felt so mean.  That is until the next morning when I get an email saying that a friend's son has lice and it is apparently going around 2nd grade boys.  I felt like I dodged a bullet.  That is until a week later when Rin told me "Mom, I need to tell you the truth.  My head itches."  Fuuuuuck.  Here we go again.  

Bek tells me, "You a chatterbox, Mommy."  I think he must be hearing that at school or somewhere.  He's starting to use more complex vocab like- ‘clean as a whistle’ and 'is it a long journey to Gigi's house?’  But the best thing he says?  “My love you more than anything. “He’s so darn sweet.

On Rin's BDay in LBurg, he had a playdate with his friend Joe whose number he got at the baptism.  He picked out ice cream cake from the grocery store that he was super exited about.  

Once home from the Burg, we celebrated Bek's BDay.  As Peter brought out the cake, he put his little balled up hands to his mouth and said "IwishIwishIwishIwish" before he blew his candles out.  I'm not sure what he wished for but I hope he gets whatever it is.

I told the boys what I loved about my birthday when I was a kid the most was no the parties or the gifts but it was that I felt special for a day.  Ted would get me whatever I wanted and do whatever I wanted and share everything with me and it just made me feel loved.  And that’s really all I want for them on their birthday.  And on every other day of the year too.  For them to feel loved.  Because, more than I can ever put into words, they are. 

Love to all, -m  

Dec 2014

Hi all,

December was feeling pretty Christmassy around here.

As we went to get the Christmas tree, there was a tiny bit of snow to make it feel like Christmas.

The Nutcracker- we had to go of course.  I love it.  And Bek just absolutely loves it.  He loves the music, and the costumes, and the dancing.  And Rin loves that he gets to get snacks to eat while he watches it.  But he tolerates it so whatever.

Rin “Mom, you can take as many photos as you want on Christmas and I promise I won't complain.”  He knows when I’m old I want to be able to look at how much fun we had.  And so I did.

Last year in December, I remember that one night I kept hearing sirens around our neighborhood which doesn't happen very often.  They came closer and closer until I could see the lights on our street and I got a little bit alarmed.  Rin was in the bath but I peered out the window to see if a neighbor's house was on fire or something and what did I see but a fire truck driving slowly down our hill.  Followed by another giant truck that was all lit up with Santa on the roof waving to all the neighbors.  Poor Rin didn't make it out of the bath in time to see him drive past and he was really sad about it.  But this year as I started to hear the sirens coming closer and closer, I knew exactly what it was.  Just like last year, Rin was heading to the bath but this year I yelled "RUN RUN RUN! It'S SANTA!!!" and we ran as fast as we could to the window and threw open the shutters to see the fire trucks once again rolling slowly up the street with Santa waving to everyone- including my stark naked son waving like a lunatic yelling "I can't believe that Santa is in our neighborhood!"  And that, my friends, is why we live here.  Stuff like that that is completely unnecessary but just lovely and what makes all the difference between a place to live and a true neighborhood.  

Watching Santa's progression on NORAD and Rin says "So Santa's real.  I wasn't always sure if he was or not.  You know, like aliens."  Haha.  

The boys were very excited and helped me with dinner.  Rin washed and peeled carrots for the beouff borginon.  Then he set the table with gusto.  He used almost every single piece of cutlery, insisted on placemats and making sure the napkins were folded just so, candles were lit, and water poured.  Bek helped with the trifle, spooning everything in, and sprinkling things.  They were both excited and delightful to be around.  They were excited about dinner, they were excited about dessert, they were excited to open their one gift for tonight, and very excited to play with Bek's play-doh set he got after they were both showered and dressed in their Christmas pj's.  And then it was off to bed for our little angels.   They were eager to go because as Rinat said "I can't wait to go to bed so that I can wake up and it can be tomorrow already." Smart kid, huh?

Rinat said "I think I just saw Rudolph. And that led to Aibek saying he thought he saw Sprinkles the new reindeer that flies with him. So we left Santa a trifle and the reindeer a cucumber.  What evs.

The next morning we opened gifts then packed it all up to head out. Christmas in Lburg was nice. We saw Ann and AG for approximately 10 seconds and then she had to head out. Time there was uneventful but nice. Rin had asked to have a play date with his new friend now so they went over there one day. The weather another day was gorgeous so we went out walking and tried out the new flag football and skateboard. Then it was time to head back home to celebrate Bek and get ready for mom to come visit. 

More to come… -m

Nov 2014

Hi all,

Aibek asked me on the way home from school today, "Mama? Do you and daddy lub me and Winat?"  Of course We do honey. Do you love me and Daddy? "I love you all day long." and then he burst into song- “skinamarinkidink skinamarinkidink do. I love you. I love you in the morning and in the afternoon..."  Guess I know what they did at school today. Love that kid. 

Mama Muffins hair salon.

It's not often that Rinat wants to take a bath with Aibek these days but ever once in a while they do and it's just so darn cute. I always loved when Rinat would want me to take one with him because I felt like it's what he did instead of snuggling. It was a way for us to be together in a way that was close but not confining if that makes sense and I just loved it. We would play with the toys and pour water over each other’s heads. Well, Bek has always been a big snuggler but never wanted me in the bath with him. But Rinat is a different story. He loves it when Rin agrees to get in there with him.  They play hair salon, shoot each other with water guns, and play with the little people and animals. It's cute to watch them bond in this way. 

My heart breaks for this little boy who has come so far but who is still struggling. He has started speech again.  And I have been noticing some motor skills that he is lacking so I see some PT in our future. Rin has had his own challenges. His of course were not language related or motor skills in need of help but he struggles with sensory issues and has trouble controlling his emotions. These boys have such different needs and it is so hard to see them struggle. But I feel so fortunate that we have all these resources at our disposal. And the money to pay for them. And the time to spend driving around to appointments. And the energy to support the therapists. And a strong marriage so we can get the support that we both need as parents so that we can support our kids and give them the best life possible.  So while we all struggle with our own needs, I feel so lucky that we are the team that we are and the supportive people we have around us. 

Things are just motoring along.  The kids are learning new things and we are just doing what we do.  Rin is having a great year and is enthusiastic about going to school every day.  He is working hard and becoming so responsible.  He does his homework without me even asking and reminds me when I forget to sign his sheet.  This big boy of mine (he's up to my shoulders!) is just so amazing and I am just beside myself with how grown up he is these days.  I mean, don't get me wrong he's not perfect.  He loves nothing more than to run around like a maniac screaming and playing sports all day long with his friends but he is also getting some satisfaction out of doing a good job at school too and I am so glad.  He has even started to get into reading books.  He has always enjoyed nonfiction and learning about sharks or dinosaurs or whatever his latest thing is but he is now getting into stories like "How to train your dragon".   One morning when Peter was gone early, Rin creeped into my room and crawled in Peter's side of the bed with his book and just sat there reading until I was fully awake.  I have gotten so much enjoyment during my life out of reading a good book and I am glad to know that he is enjoying it too.  When you read, you can go wherever it takes you, make a new friend, explore a fantasy land or go on a adventure all without leaving the house only for the cost of the book (or for free from the library!).  I take a book wherever I go and I am not ever for a single second bored, irritated that I have to wait at the doctor's office, lonely at home alone, or anything.

Bek is also working hard at school and has started saying things like "war rhyme with roar" which I am so happy to hear him saying.  Sometimes with his speech issues, I have a hard time knowing what he understands and what he doesn't.  I think he knows way more than I give him credit for.  At his conference, I asked about him learning the letters and how he doesn't seem to know that many yet.  Well, his teacher pulled out the cursive box of letters and he went to town on them- he even got B which I think is pretty hard (and mostly looks like L to me).  I am glad to know he's learning at school.  I mean, I know they adore him but I want to make sure he's learning too.  

Rinat telling me his friends all want to have playdates at our house bc it's more fun and their house is boring.  I wonder if that means that I am a slacker parent and let them do stuff I shouldn't or just that I give them to freedom to be kids and make mistakes.  We don't have a huge house or million electronics or anything fancy but they love it here for some reason.  And I love our tiny imperfect house for that reason too- it makes our kids happy and really what more could we want?

This big boy of mine is turning out to have so much compassion. I wasn't feeling well and he just went about taking care of his brother and asking me if there's anything I need. He didn't complain or anything. "Poor mom. I hope you feel better soon." And he also made breakfast the last few days. Toast w cream cheese, yogurt for him and cereal for Aibek. He is a great kid. He has such a loving heart. 

His new football cards and how he was so excited. He organized them by team and put rubber bands around them all. He's so cute. 

Then we had a combo TGiving and Baptism at the lakehouse and poolhouse.

We scrambled to get out of town ahead of a snowstorm rapidly approaching with guesstimates of 3-6". Once we were on our way and it started to come down, "It looks like Alaska. " came from Rinat in the backseat. But we got there safe and sound to meet up with everyone. 

Lazy morning and lots of coffee. Lots of cooking, Cousins playing, relatives eating, going to bed fat and happy.

Friday was more of the same- lazy morning, cousin time, taking a family walk, way too much wine and staying up way too late in the night and regretting it the next morning when the kids were up bright and early.

Saturday was a rush rush rush to get ready for the baptism and it was lovely.  I have made no secret of the fact that I don't subscribe to any particular religion but it was a really sweet ceremony.  All 22 children and 50 adults enjoyed it I think (yeah, I know- crazy number of people).  The first family walked in the door and my sweet boys took their job as host seriously "Hi, I'm Aibek, wanna come to my room and play?" and led them all off to show them all of the treasures hiding in his backpack.  And Rin too was absolutely in heaven (no pun intended) having all those kids in GigiMar's house.  They, as usual, jumped right into immediate friendships with whoever would play with them.  I love that.  

Despite the fact that I was 99% sure one of my children was going to misbehave (despite the promise of dire consequences if they did) they did well.  The ceremony started with the minister talking to the kids about the meaning behind baptism.  They sat in front of the table listening to what he had to say.  And then it was time for the water.  First came Ingrid and when the minister put held her down close to the bowl, she stuck her chubby little hand in the water bowl and splashed around a little bit.  Cute little thing.  Then was Bek and he did great- he stood still and listened and didn't yell anything at all inappropriate to my immense relief.  And finally little Anna Grace.  She's at that age.  You know, the one where the worst thing in the world is to be more than 2 inches away from mom?  Well, she made sure everyone knew she wasn't super happy about being passed from mom over to godmother Kate but in the cutest way possible.  The kids all did great.  

The children's dinner was adorable- each place setting had a flashing snowglobe and they were super excited about it.  And about the cupcakes.  Finally, with kids running around like maniacs and beginning to melt down, families trickled back out the door and on their merry ways.  The house got quiet again, we all took off our shoes, and dug into dinner ourselves.  

Another- and this one extra special- holiday done.  

Love to all, -m