JCICS Call to Action- We are the Truth

I can’t tell you how many times I have heard people- strangers and friends alike- tell me “Rinat is so lucky that you adopted him.” And I do agree (we’re pretty darn fantastic) but I never really know what to say in return. “No, we’re the lucky ones” doesn’t really seem to cover it. We were two people yearning for a child to love, who would make us a family, and the Republic of Kazakhstan put their faith in us and allowed us to be parents to Rinat. They trusted that we would take good care of him, raise him as a good and responsible person and, most of all, that we would love him with our whole hearts. And we feel so unbelievably honored that they did. I feel lucky to kiss away his tears when he wakes up crying from a nightmare. I feel lucky to hold his soft little hand in mine as we walk to school in the morning. And I feel lucky that, most of all, he has taught me what it is to be a mother. He is not perfect by any means but every single second of every single day I am so happy that he came into our lives. He is my life and my soul.

As a part of Kazakhstan adoption, we are required to send in yearly reports that tell about Rinat’s life with us. My friends always ask if it makes me mad that I have to jump through all these hoops just to have a child. But the answer, honestly, is no. In truth, I see it as a chance to brag about how well he’s doing. We have this smart, energetic, stubborn, loving, curious little boy in our family because they had faith in us and we owe them some reassurance. It is my chance to tell them, “Yes, you were right to trust us. He has a good life and he is happy.”

Sadly, there is now someone out there who has cast a shadow of doubt in the minds of people the world over. Someone did not take her responsibility as mother seriously and has made governments question whether US adoptive parents are capable. I am here to tell you that she does NOT represent American adoptive parents as a whole. She is not the norm, but rather a very rare aberration. In the US we are lucky. There are many many resources available to us should we have trouble shouldering any burden that we are carrying. All we have to do is ask. This woman did not do this and in my eyes, and the eyes of everyone I know, she is NOT a mother. A mother would never give up. A mother would never give her child away because he was not what she had in mind. She is heartless and no child deserves what she has done no matter how bad his behavior. It is a shame that she didn’t feel up to being a parent. It is a shame for all of those potential parents out there who would give loving and happy homes to a child and most of all it is sad for all those children who may never know a family because of her.

I remember the judge at Rinat’s court hearing asking “Do you think it will be hard to raise this child?” I responded that yes, I think it absolutely will be hard to raise him. But we are so lucky to be able to.

Love to all
-MAREN