I Need to Blog More Often

Hi All!

Seriously, I do need to step up the blogging because our life is totally insane these days and I really feel like I am leaving so much out. I mean it. Sometimes I have to remind myself how crazy things have been since September. I wonder why I am tired and then I remember that in the last 6 months we have done a lot: We went to Kaz on a very stressful trip where we had no idea if we would come back empty handed or not. Then we came home for my sister-in-law’s wedding. Then we went back and spent a month. Then we came back and celebrated Christmas and New Years and got Rin back in the swing of school. Then I went back again and picked up our sweet little pumpkin. Then I came home, we got settled into family life, got to know our little Bekster, had some visitors. Then we bought a house….

Oh yeah- we closed on a new house last week.  Out in the ‘burbs no less.  It’s going to be a whole new way of life for us but we hope that it will be an easier one.  Just the difference in cost of living will make a huge difference.  We won’t move in for another month at least but I can start signing Rin up for camps (thank goodness- not another summer of trying to keep him entertained) and trying to figure out what to move and what to donate.  And I have been busy touring preschools for next year too.  So far, everyone that we have dealt with has been super nice and helpful so I am excited to get moving and Rin is excited to have a big basement to run around in again.

Aside from house business, we have just been busy with our every day life.  There have been a whole lot of firsts in our little guy’s life and it is so fun to see everything with new eyes again.  There have been first popsicles and milkshakes, first trips to the zoo and aquarium, first parks and playdates.  One of the big important firsts was Mr Big Stuff’s first haircut.  Rinat was really really worried that Bek was going to be scared and that he might cry.  We went to our local barber shop- you know, the old school kind with cracked leather chairs and a drawer full of lollipops- where Peter and Rin have ‘boy day’ once a month.  Rin climbed up as usual but the poor barber who was trying to cut his hair found it difficult because he spent the entire time with his head swiveled to the side to watch Bek.  But our brave little guy sat on my lap for the whole time and didn’t say a word.  I couldn’t believe how much they cut off- a couple inches probably.  No more mullet and now my little baby is officially a boy.  No one will mistake him for a girl any more.  And speaking of big firsts, he has also taken a couple of steps here and there.  It seems mostly to be to get to wherever Rinat is.  I do sort of wish it were toward his Mama, but I can’t get jealous.  He ADORES his brother.  Many people have commented that he just can’t take his eyes off his brother and it is 100% true.  He is Rinat obsessed.  But he obviously loves me and Peter too since we are now the recipients of the sloppiest, drooliest kisses every morning when Peter gets him and tosses him into our bed at 6:30 for a few minutes while we try to pry our eyes open.  And we also have had a not so fun first- we headed to the doctor for his first round of shots and I certainly hope he will not be looking at his brother as a role model in that regard.  

 I just want to get this down on virtual paper so that I can torture Rin with it later in life.  Let me start by saying that I adore my son.  I love his spunk and the fact that he is the anti me.  I was a shy kid growing up.  I remember peeing my pants in first grade because I was too afraid to raise my hand and ask if I could go to the bathroom.  Rin is soooo opposite of that.  He has an opinion and it is right on out there for the world to hear whether we want to or not.  So here's a snippet from my life that might make you laugh.  We scheduled Rin and Bek's doctor appointments together the other day.  I knew Bek would have some shots and I figured Rin might too so I prepared myself for it.  It started off with the nurse coming into the room and Rin blurting out "I don't want shots."  Just wanted to get it on record I guess.  Then all is good until the doctor wants to look at his wiener and he says 'no!' and crawls under the exam table.  Doc says no prob as long as I don't think there are any issues.  Nope, no issues as far as I know so we move on to Bek's appt.  All is well (he's only 5% height and 15% weight which I didn't expect- how much is he supposed to weigh I wonder).  Then the doc leaves and Rin wants to know why we are waiting around.  And waiting and waiting and waiting and Bek is crying and crying because he's hungry and Rinat starts to think that there's something up (there is) and wants to know why the nurse needs to come back in after we tell him that's what we are waiting for.  And she finally does with a tray FULL of shots.  "Are those for Bek?" Rin asks.  "Bek is getting shots," I respond (which is not a lie). So I hold him in my lap and hold his chunky little arms and he gets get three and starts wailing on the third one which the nurse had warned me would hurt. I give him some loves and then I hand him over to Peter.  Rin sees that there are still three syringes on the tray and goes running into the corner "No!  No!  NOOOOOO!!!!" For anyone who has never heard the volume level that Rinat is capable of, let me just tell you that it is above and beyond any noise that should be made by a child of only 4.  This boy can scream.  I explain that it'll just take a minute and then she'll be done and he starts screaming at the absolute top of his lungs (yup, the Kazakh war cry) and starts kicking his legs as I try to pull him pants down so they can shoot him in the thigh.  I am trying to hold him still with one hand and pull the pants down with the other which is not working so then I lay him down on the bench and try to pull them down and he screams and screams and SCREAMS like someone is trying to kill him, his legs as far apart as he can get them and his hands holding the pants as tight as he can to keep them on.  I am embarrassed and keep apologizing, the nurse is laughing, finally I start laughing at the ridiculousness of it.  Rin gets pissed off that we are laughing.  Finally Peter hands Bek over to the nurse and I hold Rin’s hands and Peter pulls down the pants and he is flailing around and screaming as loudly as he can.  I finally wrestle him onto my lap and the nurse does the shots as he screams and screams and screams some more.  It was horrible.  Absolutely completely horrible.  He calms down and we finally leave the exam room.  Every single nurse's head turns our way as we exit which is, of course, humiliating.  Absolutely humiliating.  And as we exit the building, it's like a switch has flipped and the holy terror is once again smiling and happy.  I, however, am a mess.  I am embarrassed and still sweating from trying to basically wrestle a wild animal to the ground.  And the kicker?  We go back in two months for more- 2 for Rin and 3 for Bek.  Kill me now.  We’re doing separate appointments next time.  And I don’t know, bribe him or something.  Any suggestions?  This photo is his payback until I think of something better.  According to him, this is the 'straw king.'  And just so you know, he's wearing my espadrilles too.  Take THAT, Rin!

OK and here are some cute ones of him too.

But I can’t talk too badly about my eldest.  Because it seems that the honeymoon period continues.  Aside from a short stint of jealously (I think it must’ve been that) when my mom was in town, he gets the award for the best big brother ever.  He lets us know when Bek wakes in the morning, when he needs a tissue, makes sure the basement door is closed so he won’t fall down the stairs, that he doesn’t put stuff in his mouth to choke on, tells him ‘maladietz!’ (good boy in Russian) when he pushes the walker across the room, makes sure Daddy doesn’t let the stroller roll away when we’re at the zoo, is upset when I don’t have Bek with me when I pick him up from school, wants to play his music box for him at night, shares with him, loves on him and just generally adores him all around.  As do we all.

Little Beks is developing quite a personality too. He is no longer the quiet little guy we met way back in October. He spends most of the day yelling “DADADADADADADADADADA” at the top of his lungs and crawling around like a he just downed a 40 ounce of Mountain Dew. One of the funniest things is that he is starting to understand the world a little better now. He does things like look at me and shake his head ‘no’ as he reaches toward my computer or coffee cup- it’s the cutest little head shake I’ve ever seen. He knows not to mess with Mama’s stuff. And he finally realized that when he cries, I pick him up. It makes for a whole lot more crying but oh the cuddles I get. They make me almost look forward to him getting a little bump. And when I am not holding his plump little body in my arms, he is usually planted squarely between my feet, little hands pulling himself up my pant legs and face planted between my knees. And any time I sit down on the floor, he somehow manages to back his little self up into my lap. I’m not complaining at all. And strangely neither is Rinat. I am really very impressed at how well he has taken to his brother. I was worried that I had shown Rinat too much attention, too much love, and that he would feel replaced but that couldn’t be farther than the truth. He knows he is loved. As a matter of fact, at dinner tonight he told me “Mommy, I am going to make a list of all of the people who love me.” And he paused for a few seconds. “It’s going to be a whole lot of people. I’m gonna have to staple it.” I couldn’t ask for anything more than for my boys to feel like their lives are so filled with love that it won’t even fit on one page.

 

I hope you all feel so loved. If you make a list of your own, be sure to add my name to it! Much love, -m

ps- I can't get enough of that big boy haircut!  And, yes, I cried on the way home from the barber shop.  Big suprise.

Busy Busy

Hi All!


We have been busy with a capital B. Can you tell our sweet baby is tuckered out? Not only are we having an absolute blast with the newest member of our little family but we have been looking for a new place for our brood to roost for a while. Just last week we found a house that we both like and also can afford which is a hard thing to do around here. Sadly, we just can no longer afford to live in the actual District of Columbia and so off we go to the ‘burbs. I never ever thought it would happen but we’ll give it a go and see if we like it out there. We found a cute little house that is big enough to house us for the foreseeable future AND we can now afford to go on vacation every once in a while and, dare I even mention it, adopt one more time if we decide to. I told Peter when we got home from Kaz that I wasn’t even going to mention it for a year and then we would revisit the idea but buying a house made it necessary to chat about it now. So if we decide to adopt again, great. And if not, then we’ll have some cash free to do something else with. I have always wanted to go on safari…

But things are going amazingly well with the little man.  Aibek is the easiest baby ever.  Truly a piece of cake.  I know there will be something we’ll have to deal with down the road but so far no major issues aside from the Giardia (yes, he did have it).  And he and Rinat continue to be completely amazing together.  I mean, they absolutely adore each other and there is not one single day that I don’t feel lucky to have them together.  Just today we were in the little market below Rin’s school and I put Bek on the floor so I could use both hands to get Rin a slushy without spilling and he was just holding onto him and talking to him in the cutest little voice making sure he was safe and didn’t crawl off or get stepped on by anyone and this woman just stopped and stared and you could just tell she was melting and she said “Oh, that is so sweet!”  And when I commented that Rinat was an absolutely amazing big brother, she practically went into conniptions telling me how sweet they are together and great it was that they love each other so much.  People are really nice.  The other day I was shopping with Bek and the Asian girl ringing me up commented that he was super cute and that he looked a lot like her baby pictures and asked if he was adopted from Korea like her.  I told her that he was actually from Kaz and blahblahblah we were chatting away.  Someone behind me in line overheard and had to come and take a look at him and they started asking questions, then someone else overheard and came up to see his cute chubby cheeks, and before I knew it there was a crowd of literally 10 people who were oohing and aawing over my sweet little guy.  I don’t know what it is about him but everywhere I go strangers comment on how cute he is and how they just love the big cheeks and I have had lots of people call him a little Buddha.  I couldn’t agree more.  He’s adorable.  I just want to give him big kisses on those chubby cheeks and squeeze him so tight he explodes.  I can’t get over how cute he is.  And of course Rin's no shlump either.  I would kill for his cheekbones.  And I love how snuggly he is these days.  I'm sure it's partly due to someone else occupying my lap lately but I'm sure not complaining. 



Our fabulous friends also had a welcome home Aibek party that was tons of fun.  He’s still a little skittish with strangers (a totally foreign thing to me since Rin is outgoing sometimes to a fault) and I thought he might be a little overwhelmed by it all but he did pretty OK.  At the end of the night it was Rin who we had to drag out of there crying because we had overstayed by at least an hour past bedtime.  But Bek was unfazed as always.  He’s easy.  But he has been rapidly moving out of his calm and quiet phase and into the crazy maniac and constant blabbering phase.  And I couldn’t be happier about it.  He has been crawling around like a maniac.  Sometime he does what Rin likes to call the polar bear crawl where he walks on his hands and feet with his butt stuck up in the air.  And he absolutely loves standing up and getting his balance before he lets go and falls to the floor laughing and laughing.  It’s been paying off too because just the other day I was having him practice standing and letting go and rather than just falling down with a laugh, this time he took a step toward me before falling face first into my lap.  I honestly can’t believe that just 4 months ago he couldn’t even sit up.  It’s crazy.  And he was basically mute until probably December when he started out with “dadadada” before we had to leave him to come home and wait out the paperwork.  And just the other day as I was taking him up to bath, he waved and said “byebye” to Rin. I cried (of course, what’s new).  That’s a big first.  And we’ve heard something that sounds like ‘all done’ although you would never guess that would be one of his first words with the size of his fat rolls.  And he says a lot of ‘rahrah’ which I have decided means he is talking about Rinat.  That’s what I told Rin anyway and it always puts a smile on his face when Bek says it.  And I know he understands a lot.  Like when he’s in the bath and I tell him to sit down.  He just smiles and laughs and splashes back down.  Little stinker.  I swear Rinat does not help the situation.  Whenever I say “That’s not funny, Bek.”  Rin yells back from downstairs “Yes it is!”  They are going to be T-R-O-U-B-L-E when they get older.        

      

Rin decided one day that we needed to celebrate Bek’s BDay since he wasn’t actually here with us for the big day.  So off we went to Giant to pick up not one but two cakes.  One for little BekMan to destroy and one for us.  Except that Bek didn’t really destroy his.  He didn’t actually want to touch it at all.  Rin had to literally take his little hand and shove it into the frosting and then stick it into Bek’s mouth for him to get the gist of it.  But then he was hooked.  The boy likes cake.  You know, his tastes are nothing like I thought they would be.  Rin ate literally anything that we put in front of him until he hit probably 2 or so.  But Bek?  Not so much.  I will offer him, say, a bite of carrot, broccoli, corn, potato, banana, pear, peach or whatever and he will let my hand get within centimeters of his little lips and he will then dramatically whip his head to the side in a frantic bid to make sure not one tiny bit of it touches him.  It’s so frustrating.  I mean, it took Rin many many tries to like some of the foods that are his favorite now.  But Bek won’t even touch them.  Not even put them in and spit them out if it doesn’t suit.  Oh well, he’ll learn eventually that man cannot live on meat and bread alone.  And really, it’s not like he’s starving to death or anything, right?  I mean, he has baby boobs for gosh sakes.   

Spring has sprung around here and the weather is warm.  And for us that of course means it's time to spend a whole lotta time outside.  The park, the zoo, picnics, and lots of backyard time.  When the crocuses start sending up their little shoots and I spy those gorgeous deep purple blooms, it's off with the boots and on with the outdoors.  Spring is here.

And have I mentioned Rin's obsession with dinosaurs?  Yup, it's official.  He's nuts for dinos.  And he is finally starting to draw some photos that actually look like something besides just a bunch of squiggles or a happy face.  Here's his dinosaur book that he made.  He told me I could rip it apart to copy and put it here for everyone to see.  So enjoy.

Happy Spring everyone!  Love to all, -m

It's Been a Good Month

Hi All!

I think I have selective memory. Somehow in the last few years, I had forgotten just how messy babies are. And how exhausting. And how much stuff you need just to leave the house. And how, no matter what you do, sometimes they still cry. But having a new little one in the house is, of course, worth every second of work you put into them because you get back every bit of it in drooly smiles and sweet comfy snuggles.

It’s been four weeks now (four already?) and things are going well so far. Our little Aibek is a super easy baby in almost all respects. Literally the only issue we have been having with him are the blow-out diapers. And when I say blow out, I mean up the back almost to his shoulders, out the sides, and up and out the front. I have no idea what is going on with this little guy. Usually the morning one will occur about 5 minutes before I am supposed to walk out the door to take Rin to school. So it is off with the clothes, wipe off the majority of it, run his little bum under the bath faucet to get the little bits off that the wipes couldn’t, get him to stop screaming because I won’t let him play in the water, new diaper, new clothes, snowsuit, and out the door. A little chaotic but at least he doesn’t have the diaper issues that Rinat had.

So we went to the doctor about the boys both being a little off (Strep was going around Rin’s school) and told the doctor about the stomach issues that Aibek had been having. She ordered a bunch of tests on him at the lab but asked if there was any way I could go ahead and get the Giardia one done today (it was 4pm on a Friday). Thankfully Peter had gone with me to the doctor’s office to help out and so he took the boys home and I hopped in the car and floored it to the lab with one of Bek’s dirty diapers (triple bagged) in my hand. It was one of my all time most revolting experiences ever. I talked to the front desk lady and made it clear to her that the doctor wanted me to turn in the Giardia sample before they closed the office and could I please go ahead and get the container and fill it (and dispose of the nasty thing in my bag?). “Sure, you can fill it,” she said as she tapped her four inch, lighting bolt painted, rhinestone covered fingernails on the counter and handed me a bag with two little vials in it. “Instructions in here. Hope you have enough.” Clearly this woman had no idea of the magnitude of the issues we were facing at our house. She was not the best listener and when I asked her which vial to fill, without even looking up she mumbled something about the pink one and added “Bathroom’s out the door, down the hall,” and turned and walked out of the room. So off I went, poo-filled diaper in hand to find the bathroom. Which was nowhere to be found. So I went round and round the office building hallway until I found one. And, I might add, it was locked. I knocked and no one answered. I looked at the time- 4:43. “OK, I’ll wait a minute,” I thought. And I waited. And I knocked. And I waited. And I banged. And no one answered. So off I went in search of an alternative (again, holding a smelly diaper in a public place as people passed me by in their business suits and high heels wondering what that horrendous smell was) and after wandering for a minute, I found a handicap bathroom down another hallway, around another corner. And also locked. But this time someone answered my knock at least. So I waited until they were done and then walked in to see…a toilet and a pedestal sink. Hmm… OK, I have been carrying this diaper around with me for quite a while now and I just decide to get over myself so I put on the florescent purple plastic gloves that the bitchy nurse gave me, cop a squat, and start digging the nastiness out of my sweet son’s diaper with the teeny tiny little spork provided by the vial full of foul smelling liquid that I was required to put the poo into and shake it up. I had more than enough to fill it all the way to the red line as the directions said. Mission accomplished. I packed back up the nasty diaper but couldn’t quite make myself put it in their trash. I felt bad. It stank worse than anything coming out of my son should stink. So I stuffed it back in the three bags I had tied around it, put it in my bag and off I trotted back to the office, a smile of relief on my face that I got it back to her 5 minutes before they left for the weekend. “So do I just fill up the gray one and bring it back on Monday for the rest of the testing?” I asked the ornery nurse. “Uh, NO. You gotta fill that one up too. With the same batch as the pink one.” Groan, huff, and I made her promise not to lock the doors before I was back (and didn’t trust her when she reluctantly agreed). So back I went to the bathroom, back on with a new set of purple gloves, back out with the diaper, unwrap it. This time, however, I was having a much harder time getting the stuff out with the tiny spork as it had been mushed into the diaper in my rush to cram it back into the bag. So what would any desperate mother do in this situation? Yup, I pulled a plastic Take&Toss spoon out of my diaper bag and scraped that sucker clean. This time diaper went in the trash, as did the spoon, and I dropped it at the office right on time. Done. And she handed me the other 7 vials to fill over the weekend. Sigh. Having children requires relinquishing all dignity at the door.

But truly I can’t complain. He is an absolute dream. The only time he cries is when he has a reason to. There was one day in particular that gave me Rinat flashbacks (sorry Rin, but you were not exactly an easy baby). He cried for two hours in the morning rather than napping and then two hours in the afternoon rather than napping. I tried everything to make him stop and the only thing that worked was food. So at dinnertime, I sat there and fed him and fed him and fed him and fed him…for more than an hour. I’m not kidding. I think he clocked in at 1 hour 10 minutes. Any time he did his ‘more’ grunt, I fed him more. I had been feeding him only the amount that I thought his belly could hold without him barfing but I guess that just wasn’t enough. Who knew? So I fed him until I was afraid there might be intestinal damage and he was all smiles and happy once again. Lesson learned- feed him about 10 times the amount I think I should and he might barf but at least he doesn’t cry. I can deal with the barfing. The screaming? Not so much.

And, like with Rinat, I have been teaching him a little bit of sign language- just enough to make our lives easier. And after only a week, little man did the sign for ‘more’ unprompted. Yeah, it was brought on by cookies for breakfast but whatever works, right? ‘Milk’ came soon after. And ‘all done’ and ‘sleep’ are the latest. He gets confused sometimes but overall it makes our life easier and it makes him really happy to know that he can tell us something. He’s so proud.

I want to get this on record because I know it won’t last forever but Aibek and Rinat are playing together absolutely amazingly. It’s wonderful. They just roll around on the floor like puppies and laugh. Every time Aibek wakes up from nap, Rinat screams “Don’t get him yet! I wanna come too!” and we go and make faces at him and Rinat tickles him while I change his diaper. It’s sweet. At bath time, Rin wants to ‘scrub-a-dub him’ and for some reason, Aibek thinks it’s really funny when Rinat comes running and yells “BOO!” right in his face. Whatever floats their boat I guess. Rinat is so proud to show him off too. The first day that I brought him to school, he was so so excited. He asked “Will you bring him to school and put him on your hip like this?” and pantomimed it “and I can tell everyone what his name is?” It was really sweet. And everyone was very excited to see him finally home with us.

We haven’t had a million people come and visit like when we brought Rin home but we have had some visitors and it’s really interesting to see him with them. He is getting more and more active and vocal at home but the second we step outside or someone comes here he just freezes and stares. He’s not afraid really- he always wants new people to hold him and wants to see everything- but it’s just like he’s a little bit overwhelmed and doesn’t know what to do. Deer in the headlights syndrome I guess. But it sure makes shopping easy. He just sits in the stroller and stares. It’s awesome.

There have been many wonderful moments on this journey to bring another child into our family- meeting him for the first time after resigning ourselves to going home empty handed, the first time he reached out his chubby little hands for me to pick him up, his little finger curled around mine as I fed him his bottle on the plane to Almaty- but the moments I have found that I love the most are those that are unremarkable except for the fact that they are mine. Hearing Peter read him books at night, watching my two boys in the bath as they climb over each other and laugh and laugh and laugh, his little head on my shoulder and hands tucked under when he’s sleepy, Rinat begging me to let him sleep on the floor in Bek’s room so he can tell him it’s OK when he cries at night. They are not anything unexpected except for the fact that I felt like at times it was never going to happen for us. But it finally did. And it is so worth all of the tears and headaches of the last few years. Unbelievably worth it. Each and every day I feel blessed to have these boys of mine. All three of them. I may not mention Peter as much at I do the two little ones but he is enmeshed in our lives like very few of my friends’ husbands are able to be. He is there for each and every important part of our lives, both the exciting (arriving home from Kaz) and the mundane (poo scraping). I don’t know how I would do it without him. I am so lucky to have the life that I do. It may not have been the life I planned but it is so much better than I could have hoped for.

Love to all and I hope it’s not quite so long until I post again. I’ll do my best, -m