Thursday, December 22, 2016

March 2015

Hi all,
It was finally time for Bek's bday. There was snow. And no cake when we dug out and got to the store to pick it up. Grrr. There's no wrath like a mom whose baby's cake isn't done. But we got it done quickly and then off we went as we trekked through the snow to get to the zoo.  We feared we might be the only ones to brave the weather and it sorta looked like it might be the case actually as the time crept by and only one family had made it.  And then the zoo host let us know that they were closing the zoo but were allowing our party to go on and it looked just a little bit more likely.  Peter went outside to flag down anyone who might be coming and tell them to come on in because it was still on.  And we waited and hoped.  And then they came- Bek's fearless friends- shaking the snow off their coats and hats to celebrate our little sweet chunks’ special day.  We literally had Amazonia- and the entire zoo- to ourselves as they played.  They ooohed and aaahed at the river rays and fish and spoonbills.  They ate cake.  A good time was had by a bunch of his adorable little friends.  Rin was a great host and helped a ton.  And all in all it was really a great and unique day.  I wonder how many people in the history of the zoo have ever had the whole thing to themselves.  Not many I bet.      









And as the snow started to pile up it was also a good day to open up a bunch of gifts.  There was plenty to do for two boys stuck inside all day because of the wintery mix now falling.  I knew the number of legos and board games and toys would keep them busy ALL.  DAY.  LONG.  And hopefully into tomorrow if it's a school delay.  Fingers crossed.  






Rinat was talking about snow days and that they have had so many they'll have to make them up and I said "GOOD."  
But Mom, if you miss me so much when I'm at school, why would you want me to have to make them up? 
I sort of had to scramble to get out of that one.  Let me make this clear, my sweet boy, that even when we love someone with every ounce of our being (a child, a partner, a friend) we still need some time to ourselves so we can miss them.  It’s not a bad thing.




And Rin just sometimes says funny things like. 
I want to sit where all the glory is at UVA game.  
I’m not entirely sure what that one means.  Just the way he said it cracks me up.  Or also
Do you ever get really excited and it feels like your feet want to move sideways?  
Rin’s getting so much better at describing the physical feelings of his body.  Like when we go over a bump and it makes your stomach want to jump up.  
He worries too, this kid.  He worries that people might call him a nerd at school for going to science class even though he really, really likes it.  I told him that he could just blame it on me.  And besides, it's good to be a nerd.  Smart people are nerds and the smart people and are the ones who work hard and run the companies.  He also worries about not being good enough.  On the way to the Elements (an outdoor thing in the woods), he was worried that he wouldn't be able to run fast enough to win the race they were going to have with his snow pants and boots on.  He was worried that none of the other kids would have them on so they’d beat him.  He was worried that he couldn’t do his best.  And afterward when he- of course- had a blast, I reminded him that the next time he was nervous about doing something that he try to remember this feeling.  The feeling that he had worked hard and done his best and that his fears hadn't come true- they were just fears.  He's a good kid, that one.

And Bek is just a bowl of laughs.  And he's learning.  Really learning.  It's amazing me what's in there when I just put some effort into teaching him and encouraging him.  He does want to learn and is catching up big time.  He just needs a little bit of a nudge and he'll be just fine now that he can hear the sounds.  





Bek said out of the blue the other day, "I am so glad I have you.  I won't ever let you get lost".  I just want to fill his little face with kisses.  That heart of his is so open.  I know that probably means that he’s more likely to have it broken at some point along the way but it also means he’s more likely to feel real love and that’s the way it goes, right?    

I got an email one day that Sweet Briar was closing.   I thought it must be a hoax.  But no, I guess they thought we would go quietly.  But we did not. In 24 hours we had a website, 36 hours a lawyer and PR, 48 hours $1mil, another 48 $2mil, a week after that $3, and that was just the beginning.  The kids mostly see me cleaning and cooking and boring things like that that while important, aren’t exactly impressive.  I t’s been good for the kids to see me fighting for something I believe in. I won't just accept things. I fight. And I want them to do the same when they are put in this situation. 






Rinat had a sleepover. I am as always torn about feeling annoyed because it's 10 and they are still up and I know this will mean that he will be way more likely to be awful tomorrow and happy because I know they are having fun now. Not sure if it's more important to appreciate the now or to plan ahead for tomorrow. Only so much I can do anyway I guess. I can't hold him down until he falls asleep. 



Rinat got super sick this month. There is nothing like the fear of a mom for her baby. I wanted to crawl in his skin and take it for him so he wouldn't have to be in pain. He was actually crying because he felt so bad which has never ever happened. He never ever complains about being in pain or not feeling well.  Not ever really.  Not even when he was barfing the previous week. Which is why it was so scary for me. He had a 103 temp after meds so I don’t even know how high it was before. Yikes. I just knew that my baby wasn’t himself and I had to fix it.  I was literally counting the minutes until it had been one hour with no change.  But thankfully, they ended up working just enough to bring it down to an OK level and he was comfortable enough to drift off to sleep for a bit.  Crisis averted thank goodness. 

Love to all, -m     

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