Hi All,
We are SO lucky to be somewhere that we have a million options. You want to know about dinosaurs? We’ll take a trip downtown. You’re wondering about how big a panda bear is? Off to the zoo we go. You want to learn to break dance? No problem, there is a hip-hop class right down the road. People say that small towns are the best place to raise kids but I don’t necessarily agree. I think they both have their pros and cons. And we are sure to take full advantage of the pros around here. This semester, Rinat has been taking a break dance class (OK, so hip-hop was the closest I could find). He has had a love hate relationship with it but he has worked hard and was excited about the performance. It was on the actual stage- with spotlights and everything- and it was absolutely adorable. The kids took turns performing while the other classes and the parents made up the audience. When it was Rin’s class’s turn, they first performed a warm-up to show us parents what they did every time; Then on to the choreographed dance; And finally there was the freestyle circle. I think maybe I had more fun watching than he did dancing but, you know, I have boys so I’m not sure how much dancing I have in my future so I had to take full advantage. Afterwards we went out to celebrate and let Rin make his own pizza at a place down the road. It was a fun night.
Not only is hip-hop class right down the road, but Rin’s school is out of this world (haha pun intended). Every other year they hold a Space Night and this year’s was sponsored by...wait for it…
the Johnson Space Center,
the satellite repair office of NASA,
Spark Lab at the Smithsonian, and
National Geographic among others.
NatGeo, people! I have loved National Geographic from birth. Sometimes I just feel like it’s insane that we live in this place where all of these things happen that affect the entire world. When I was growing up, DC was so far away that it might as well have been a different country but now here I am smack dab in the middle of it. And did you know that their school has a planetarium? Yes, its OWN planetarium. And there is stargazing at the park by our house every week for whoever wants to stop by with real actual astronomers with ginormous telescopes who just want to share their passion with our kids. We are so unbelievably lucky to be here and for our kids to attend these schools where people take education seriously. And besides that- there are a whole mess of really nice people here. Good people who have good kids for my kids to spend the next 12 years with. Sometimes it’s not the easiest place to live but I do think the fight to make it here is worthwhile.
We have a whole lot going on with life and death around here the last few years and I have hated that my kids have had to deal with the death part. This year, Rinat’s teacher passed away after a fight with cancer. And so, in an effort to help him deal with it we have had a lot of dinnertime conversations about death. And so now Bek is listening and asking questions about it. One night as we were talking, he asked “Our Dad’s daddy died!?” and immediately started sobbing- bless his sweet loving little heart. I explained that he was really sick and he died but that we got to spend lots of happy times with him while he was alive and remember those times and that makes us happy. And that led to him talking about his daddy and mommy and telling us that he has two mommies and two daddies and we talked about that some. I love where these dinnertime discussions lead. You see, I WANT them to talk about their other parents.
I want to make sure my kids know that they do not have an absence of parents but instead a plethora of parents. I think a lot of people think that all orphans are orphaned because their parents have passed away but that's not always the case. In a perfect world they would still be with their biological parents in a happy loving family with enough food, warm clothes, shelter, emotional support and love for everyone. But the realty is that we don't live in a perfect world. And so they came to live with us. For sure we got the better part of that deal and every single day I am grateful for their parents who made it possible for us to know each other and to live a full and happy life together.
But also- aside from dinner discussions about death and Kaz parents- there has been talk about birth and those cute babies. Peter’s sister, Kate, and her husband Jason had a baby this month and we can’t wait to meet her. And of course it brought up some more questions. This is why I think dinner together is so important. We discuss things there. Big things. Important things. Things that need discussing. This evening’s discussion was about the new baby- and about how babies come to be… Yup, Rinat is asking THOSE questions. Oy vey, how do you answer them and walk the line between sex is good and sex is bad- don’t do it? His question of this evening was “Who does it hurt more when people have sex?” Um… As I seem to do when I don’t know how to answer, I instead put it back on him and asked him what he knows about sex and babies. He said “Well, sex doesn’t hurt but the baby coming out does. That’s what I hear.” ‘That’s what I hear?!?!’ Where is he hearing this? It cracks me up. I can’t remember exactly how I answered but I do remember it was honest but perhaps a little vague. But good gosh, I better step it up because this little/big boy is growing up way faster than I am prepared for.
But the growing up thing is not all bad. This last year he's been more in control of his emotions while also dealing with these big issues as well as just the everyday drama of being a 7 year old boy. He is calming himself down and trying to talk to me when he gets upset and he’s trying to make amends when he has mistreated someone else. It’s nice that he’s getting mature enough to talk about what he can say to people when he feels like they have done him wrong instead of just melting down. It's so crazy to see this little boy turn into a man. Crazy wonderful I mean.
Peter has been reading Harry Potter to Rin every night for months and they are on book 3 already. I think Peter is enjoying it more than Rin actually. But Rin has really gotten into it and as with all things he gets into, he is 110% in. He wants to decorate his entire room with Harry Potter, he wants to go to Harry Potter at Disney World, he draws amazing pictures of the characters from the book, he wants to look like him talk like him and eat what he eats. It's all Harry Potter all the time.
After reading the first 3 books I told Rin he could watch the first movie and he was adamant that I was doing it just to torture him. I really wasn’t though. I just wanted to give him something to work toward and to see how fun reading fiction books could be since he hasn’t been super excited about stories ever. But finally he got to watch the movie and it was everything that he hoped it would be. I parked Bek in front of the TV in my room to watch something more 4-year-old appropriate, Peter made popcorn, and we all snuggled into the sofa in the study to watch. He was so excited that he could barely sit still and he was full of "I know what's going to happen next!" and "They didn't put in the part about..." and "He doesn't look like I thought he would" I really hope that this little experiment of read it before you watch it will stick with him. And I also want him to learn that things are worth waiting for and it makes it so much more fun when you do get to. I don't want them to get everything they want exactly when they want it because that's not how life really works. I want them to have special experiences and to truly treasure what they have. I want them to work hard to earn things they want and be proud of themselves for it- like Rin was when he saved up and bought his $14 Rainbow Loom. And if they can do that, then I know they will be successful in the work world but also in their personal life. Because the important things are never the ones that are easy to obtain. The ones that are hardest to get are the most treasured. You know- like my family. It took a lot of work to build our family and it takes a lot of work to maintain it but it sure is worth it.
For Easter we stayed here and had a wonderful morning. The Easter Bunny visited and brought lots of goodies and hid a bunch of eggs. There was even a real live bunny in the yard this morning munching on clover. Then we went off to Mer's house to spend time with 'cousin' Caroline. They stuffed themselves full of candy- I mean, seriously stuffed- and then burned it off running around, jumping on the trampoline, and just generally acting like maniacs. It was a wonderful holiday- it was calm and pleasant and just nice all around.
Today is the first really gorgeous spring day after a brutal winter. It's like the flowers were just as ready as we were because they popped out in what seemed to be just hours of it warming up. As I was cleaning out the garage in search of the leaf blower, I heard lots of things. I heard “C’mon guys!” and giggles and “WooHoo’s” and cooperation and “I can help you”s and all of those glorious sounds of a group of little boys having fun together ALL DAY LONG. There was a stream of neighborhood kids in and out all day, some stayed for lunch, some took off to birthday parties and were replaced by others who wanted to see what my boys were up to. I had about a million errands to run but you know what? I did none of them. Instead, I appreciated the moment. I appreciated the joy of childhood. I appreciated the beauty of being outside after a long and very hard winter. I appreciated the numbers of kids who came over today because they just like hanging out here with my kids. And I appreciated the fact that there was not one single big disagreement. And after I unearthed the blower and beat the dirt out of the entry rug, and washed and put away all ski clothes, hats gloves, coats, long underwear and all that stuff that we now DONE with for the year, I appreciated this wonderful place where we live. I appreciated the breeze and the sunshine and the birds and flowers and buds beginning to show on the trees. I watched as the kids tried to get the worlds longest train of kids down the slide in our backyard. I appreciated as they drew signs for their “Spring Break Camp” in an effort to sell tickets. And I felt so incredibly lucky to be here and to be mom to these gorgeous kids and their friends. It was a good day. A really beautiful-in-the-best-kind-of-way day and I just didn’t want to forget it. So I wrote it down.
Love to all, -m
